


to say that we're in love is dangerous

by bakusquxd



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, I'm kind of lying abt the slowness it's going just a lil quick, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Romance, fuck buddies, hanzo still runs a gang btw, i got too invested in the actual story part, i guess?, less porn as chapters go on I am So Sorry, slightly dangerous relationship, so i hope y'all like the story part too lmao, so uh, to lovers ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-05-14 19:10:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14775524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakusquxd/pseuds/bakusquxd
Summary: Hanzo Shimada knelt for no man.He would never, ever waver in the presence of someone he deemed lower than him.Never would he bow, never would he get to his knees, never would he show any sign of weakness towards anyone.And yet…Here he sat, knelt in front of that ridiculous man who never stopped talking, who didn't know boundaries, who would've done anything to make someone smile, or laugh. The man who just cared so much. The man whose touch was soft but firm, eyes dark but warm, voice rough yet so full of love.Here he sat with his body trembling, his breath sharp and shaky, face flushed hot, in front of Jesse McCree, the only man he's ever knelt for.***Letting himself fall for Jesse like this was dangerous for both of them, in more ways than one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *cough*  
> so uh hi  
> yeah so my smut bone hasn't been used in uh.... maybe four years now so I'm doin my gotdamn best to put forth worthy sex  
> but yo I'm a bitch for light sub/dom shit and I've been wanting to write something like this for a while now.  
> I tagged explicit bc of. language and p detailed sex scenes so yknow. gotta be cautious  
> anyways I hope y'all have a fun time reading!
> 
> also, follow me on tumblr if you want!! find me at riphanzo

 Hanzo Shimada knelt for no man.

  He would never, ever waver in the presence of someone he deemed lower than him.

  Never could someone make him tremble, or even bat an eye as he stood in front of them. Never could anyone make him feel fear.

  Never would he bow, never would he get to his knees, never would he show any sign of weakness towards anyone.

  And yet…

  Here he sat, knelt in front of that ridiculous man who never stopped talking, who didn't know boundaries, who ignored reason and logic to do something stupid, who would've done anything to make someone smile, or laugh. That ridiculous man who just cared so much. The ridiculous man whose touch was soft but firm, eyes dark but warm, voice rough yet so full of love.

  Here he sat, scared out of his mind because of how he was feeling right now. Scared that what he might be feeling is real and not some fever dream.

  Here he sat with his body trembling, his breath sharp and shaky, face flushed hot, in front of Jesse McCree, the only man he's ever knelt for.

 

* * *

  __

_Before_

 

  The Shimadas were very well known, and very well respected in the community they lived in. Many feared them, if they knew who they were, because of the sheer power and influence they held over almost every operation, illegal or otherwise, in the city. Few dared to challenge them, knowing very well of the consequences that would come their way if they tried, and Hanzo had to admit, he kind of enjoyed the power. And he enjoyed it even more when people recognized his power and respected him in the way he felt he deserved. 

  Which is why Hanzo is rather surprised when a meet up isn't going smoothly as planned.

  “We need to move the supply,” He says quietly to the men in front of him as they stand in a warehouse, Genji nodding in agreement with Hanzo and glaring at the men. “And if we don't, we're going to have some extremely unhappy customers, and that isn’t good for anyone.” He crosses his arms, looking between them. “So why aren't you doing anything?”

  “Listen, Shimada,” One of the men says as he steps closer. “We're tired of taking your shit. You think you're all high and mighty just because you run the gang? Please. You're not even half the man I am.” He gets even closer. Hanzo doesn't move, his gaze never falling.

  He sighs. “Care to explain, in depth, why you're so upset?” He asks, voice quiet and just a bit exasperated. The man scoffs.

  “You're not paying us enough for the work we do for you, for one. Moving all those fucking drugs is _not_ easy, man, and we've got a lot to move. That's risky as hell. And during exchanges you're not a part of, I don't think I like the way your men treat mine. Step up, Shimada, stop letting your guys do the dirty work for y-”

  In the span of a second, Hanzo grabs his gun from where it's tucked in the back of his belt, aims it at the man's head, and shoots. The loud _bang_ of the gun makes every other person there, aside from Genji, scream as the body thuds to the floor. Genji sighs, practically unfazed, and rubs the bridge of his nose as the other men lowkey scream at Hanzo for shooting that guy.

   Hanzo smirks. Like he’d other people do his dirty work. Laughable.

  “Did you really have to do that, Hanzo?” He asks quietly, looking at him. “Was that necessary?”

  Hanzo turns and looks at him, sliding the gun back into his belt. “Necessary enough. I won't tolerate disrespect from those working for me.” He turns to the remaining men. “Do your work, or you will end up like him. Are we clear?”

  One of the remaining men nods quickly. “C-Crystal, Mr. Shimada,” He says, and the others nod in agreement.

  Hanzo looks at them before he leads Genji out. “That was difficult,” He says quietly as they walk away from the building, and Genji just huffs.

  “You made it difficult by _killing someone_.”

  “I did nothing of the sort,” Hanzo insists. “I may have killed someone, yes, but he was being difficult long before I was.”

  “You're such a child,” Genji says with an irritated sigh. “Really, Hanzo, it's ridiculous…” He shakes his head as they get back in their car.

  Hanzo chuckles, looking at his brother. “Says you. You're far more ridiculous than I am. I at least know when to behave and act my age,” He says with a smug smirk as he starts driving.

  Genji gasps quietly. “Hey!” He smacks Hanzo's arm. “I know very well how to act in the right situation.”

  “So that meeting with another leader last week, when you were fucking around on your phone and you started laughing in the middle of an important conversation you _should have_ been paying attention to? _That_ was you behaving?” He demands with a glare, and Genji rolls his eyes.

  “Shut up. That was different. Hana texted me a something, and it was hilarious-”

  “That does not justify putting our lives on the line, Genji,” Hanzo murmurs. He shakes his head, quickly changing the subject. “I'm going out tonight. I need a drink. This week has just been full of idiots that needed dealing with.”

  His brother sighs and shrugs. “That's how it is sometimes. But yeah, go out, relax, whatever.” Genji doesn't ask to tag along. Hanzo hardly ever got out to have time for himself, so why not let him have some?

  Hanzo drops Genji off at his apartment near the Shimada castle, then heads right to his favorite bar, a little hole in the wall place outside of Shimada territory and in an unclaimed area where he could just relax without the weight of his job on his shoulders. He silently nods to the bartender in greeting as he sits down, sighing quietly. “Usual,” He requests quietly, and the bartender nods, sliding him a glass of sake. Top shelf. A man Hanzo hasn't seen here before glances at him from where he sits a few barstools down. Hanzo ignores him until he hears the man chuckle very quietly. He looks over, raising an eyebrow. “What?” He asks quietly, looking him over. Huh…

  “You, uh-” The man smirks. “-got a little blood on your shirt there,” He murmurs, pointing at the blood spatter on Hanzo's bright white dress shirt. Hanzo frowns, looking down. Shit, he hadn't noticed that before. He sighs and pulls his suit jacket closed. He doesn't thank the man for pointing that out, simply going back to his drink. “You alright?” The man asks, trying once more to talk to him. “That ain't yours, is it?”

  Hanzo looks at him again. “Would it be worse if I said yes, or no?” He asks, finishing off his glass, then waving his hand, asking the bartender for another. The man’s eyes roll towards the ceiling as he ponders for a second or two.

  “Mm…I'm gonna go with ‘no’,” He responds, looking back at him. “So, which is it?” He leans against the bar, picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping from it. Hanzo eyes the glass for a moment. Such unsophisticated taste.

  “Not that I owe you an answer, but…no, it isn't mine,” He murmurs, picking up his topped off glass. The man laughs a little, eyebrows raising in surprise. He doesn't say anything else, though. Hanzo frowns a bit. “Why does it matter?” He asks.

  Glancing at him again, the man shrugs. “Needed to know if I needed to help you to a hospital or not,” He explains simply, and Hanzo scoffs.

  “Like I'd ever need help,” He mutters before looking away.

  Amused, the man chuckles. “What, think you're too good for medical attention or somethin’? Hate to break it to ya, but you're not.”

  Hanzo rolls his eyes.

  “So it's not your blood. Then whose is it?”

  Hanzo sighs.

  The man laughs. “Not allowed to tell?” He pauses, then leans a bit closer, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Are you gonna have to kill me if you tell me?”

  “Do you ever stop talking?” Hanzo responds, instead of answering his question. “Because it's getting very annoying.” Goddamn, he really was. Still, Hanzo can't get himself to get up and move or tell him to fuck off. Maybe he's too tired, maybe he just doesn't care. Regardless, he still wishes this guy would tone it down.

  The man laughs out loud this time. “Sure I do, most times, but…” He sighs. “I might be just drunk enough to say I think you're real good lookin’. I can't shut up, you're makin’ me nervous,” He says with a sly smile.

  Hanzo chokes a little bit, looking at him, eyes just a bit wide. “Excuse me?” He sets his glass down, turning to face him.

  “You heard me,” The man says quietly. “I'm not usually this forward with anyone, but uh…I've had a few strong drinks and a really rough day… So tell me- what do I gotta do to go home with you?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo blinks, shocked. Never has someone been so blunt with him about this sort of thing.

  “I-” He doesn't even know what to say. After a beat of silence a second of thinking, he straightens himself a bit, standing up. Ah, why the hell not? He hadn't had a good fuck in a while, and while this guy didn't know when to shut his mouth, he probably knew how to work what he had in his pants. “Nothing,” He finally answers, finishing off his sake before gripping the man's jacket, pulling him up. “Let's go.”

 

* * *

 

 

  Hanzo slams the man up against his door as he kisses him hard, groaning quietly when- Ah, wait, Jesse, that was his name; he'd learned it on the way over -grabs his hair, gripping tight. Hanzo's hands slide down Jesse's chest, then shove off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor. He grips the collar of Jesse's shirt, pulling him away from the door, starting to back up towards his bedroom. Jesse doesn't protest, just following him where he's lead. Jesse really wants to get him naked, get inside of him, make him moan, and he didn’t even know his name. He’d given Hanzo his name, but he hadn’t gotten one in return. Jesse decided not to argue that; Somehow the mystery made it that much hotter.

  Hanzo shoves Jesse into his room, pulling off his own jacket, followed by the rough unbuttoning of his shirt. Jesse grins, watching Hanzo’s nimble fingers working fast. Must be used to this… Hanzo grabs Jesse’s shoulders and pulls him in for another eager kiss, helping him undress.

  Hanzo might be just a bit embarrassed by how quickly he’s completely hard, but Jesse...somehow he knew just how and where to touch him to get him going. He inhales sharply when Jesse pins him down on the bed, gripping both his wrists with one hand- Jesus Christ, his _hands_ -and pinning them above Hanzo’s head. Hanzo looks up at him, his heart beating fast from being pinned down like this. Jesse smirks at Hanzo before slowly bringing his fingers up to Hanzo’s lips.

  Hanzo huffs, lowkey wanting to roll his eyes, but he stops himself. “You’re making some very bold assumptions about who I am,” He murmurs, and Jesse laughs a little.

  “You’re not stopping me,” He points out with a grin, and Hanzo stares at him for a second or two before he silently takes Jesse’s fingers into his mouth, making eye contact with him as he sucks on them, making sure they’re plenty wet... Just like Jesse wants. Jesse swallows hard, seeing that look in Hanzo’s eyes. It sent a shiver down his spine and made his cock twitch in interest. God, what a turn on.

  Hanzo gives one last lick to Jesse's fingers before pulling away, smirking. “Get on with it,” He whispers, and Jesse shifts a bit getting his hand between Hanzo's legs, teasing him just a bit before sliding a finger into him, making Hanzo bite his lip for a second. He closes his eyes, just kind of enjoying the process of being opened up for a moment or two before he grunts a little. “Enough,” He murmurs, and Jesse chuckles.

  “Anyone ever told you you're really Goddamn bossy?” He asks him as he lets go of Hanzo's wrists to grip his thighs, spreading his legs so he can get between them. Hanzo can't help the small chuckle that comes from him as he shifts his hips forward a bit, getting closer to Jesse.

  “I've been told, yes,” He whispers in response, looking up at him. Jesse rolls his eyes, smiling slightly before he spits into his hand, getting a hand around his cock, making himself as slick as he can. Hanzo lowkey shivers in anticipation when he feels the head of Jesse's cock nudge at his opening. God, he was so ready for this- “Holy shit,” Hanzo hisses, inhaling sharply as Jesse pushes right into him, stretching him open in a way that Hanzo just can't help but adore.

  Jesse leans over, nuzzling into Hanzo's neck a bit, pressing a kiss to his skin. “You good?” He asks quietly as he moves his lips up right beside Hanzo's ear. Hanzo moans ever so quietly as Jesse shifts his hips a bit more, pressing into him as much as he can. Hanzo can only muster a nod, and as soon as he does, Jesse gets a strong hold on Hanzo's thighs and gets right to fucking him.

  Hanzo wasn't exactly a very vocal man in bed, but he assumes that it was just because he hadn't had a cock quite like this inside of him before. This was- it felt like he'd been missing what really good sex was up until now. Jesse just keeps pounding into him, hitting all the right spots in just the right way. Hanzo drives his hands into Jesse's hair, gripping tight and pulling him down for a hard, hot kiss, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Jesse shudders, kissing him right back, moaning when he feels that tug on his hair.

  Jesse moves one of his hands up to Hanzo's cock, running his thumb over the head, making Hanzo gasp quietly at the new, added sensation. He bites his lip, moving his hands down from Jesse's hair and onto his shoulders as Jesse starts jerking him off. Hanzo squeezes his eyes shut tight, running his nails down Jesse's back, making the other man gasp and groan, his hips stuttering a bit as he tries to keep his composure, to keep the steady rhythm of his hand and body.

  “Christ-” He grunts, resting his head on Hanzo's shoulder, starting to fuck into him a bit harder, a bit more eagerly. His own lower half was starting to swirl with heat, warning him of his own impending orgasm. He's embarrassed that he's getting there so fast, but oh well. It seemed like Hanzo was feeling the exact same way... Jesse keeps it up on both ends, adoring the way he's making Hanzo writhe and moan beneath him. He inhales sharply whenever he feels Hanzo's nails go down his back; It hurt, but it hurt in just the right way. He knew he'd be feeling this for days, bright red lines of memory across his skin. He could feel Hanzo's body start to shake beneath him, and he looks up at Hanzo again, moving so his lips are beside his ear. He kisses his temple before whispering to him. “Gonna cum?” He whispers, and Hanzo shivers, taking a shaky breath at the sensation of Jesse's breath against his skin.

  “Y- Fuck, yes,” He mumbles, breathing picking up pace. His mind was starting to go fuzzy, the warm, tingling sensation going through his body in one quick wave. He lets out a gasp and a groan, one much louder than he's used to, as he cums all over Jesse's hand and his own chest, raking his nails down Jesse's back one more time, his nails digging into his skin as his orgasm rushes through him. Jesse doesn't stop moving his hips even after he takes his hand away, shaking it out a bit. He gives Hanzo a few more harsh, sharp thrusts before he quickly pulls out, quickly jerking himself off, biting his lip hard and stifling a groan as he cums all over Hanzo's chest, accidentally getting it on Hanzo's face and in his hair.

  Hanzo grimaces a little bit, but he's impressed by that range. God damn.

  After a couple seconds, Jesse goes a bit limp, lowkey resting on top of Hanzo. They both sit there and kind of catch their breath before Hanzo shifts beneath him. “Get up,” He whispers, and all Jesse does is roll over a bit, sort of relaxing into Hanzo's bed and calming himself down a bit more. Hanzo takes one final moment to collect himself before he stands up and walks over to the mirror he had in his room above his dresser, inspecting himself. God, he looks like a mess. A well fucked mess. He wipes his face, then shakes his head a bit before turning back to Jesse. “You can go now,” He says to him, voice quiet.

  A look of offense briefly crosses Jesse's face before he sighs. “Right.” He stands up, stretching a bit before gathering up his clothes. He runs a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes as he gets dressed again. Hanzo starts walking towards the bathroom attached to his room once Jesse is sufficiently dressed, but Jesse stops him. “Hey, hold on a sec,” He murmurs, grabbing Hanzo's hand.

  “What?” Hanzo asks, looking just a bit exasperated. Jesse smiles slightly.

  “Can I get your name yet, darlin’?” He asks, a hopeful look in his eyes. Something inside Hanzo clicks a little bit, and he doesn't know why he speaks, but he can't catch himself in time to stop it.

  “Hanzo. My name is Hanzo,” He whispers, inwardly cursing himself. This was a one night stand, why did he need to give out his name? But Jesse grins, letting Hanzo's hand go.

  “Hanzo,” He repeats, taking a few steps back. “I'll see you around then.” He gives a little salute before he turns and walks out of the room. Hanzo doesn't move until he hears his front door open, then close.

  He breathes a sigh of relief before going into the bathroom and getting in the shower, cleaning himself up as best he can. After getting in bed, he does his best to put the thought of Jesse out of his head. He didn't want to see him again; He never slept with the same person twice. He wasn't the kind of man to do stable relationships, or romantic ones. Everything he had and everything he was was purely sexual.

  No one was an exception, especially not some man he met in a bar.

 

* * *

 

 

  Hanzo sleeps better than he has in a while. Who knew a good fuck would be such a good sleep aid? He gets up, glancing around his room, only vague reminders that Jesse was ever there; The smell his cologne from his brief moment on Hanzo's sheets had somehow permeated the fabric, embedding his scent in the fibers. The ache inside of him, one that resurfaced whenever he moved. The lingering feeling of Jesse's lips on his skin...

  He shakes his head, not wanting to remember anything anymore, and wanting to get on with his life. Since he doesn't have any pressing matter to attend to, he takes his time getting up and dressed. As he heads into the kitchen to get started on breakfast, he sees a note on his fridge that wasn't there before, under one of the stupid magnets Genji got him whenever he went anywhere he deemed ‘cool’. He goes over to it and moves it out from under the magnet. Opening it up, he sighs.

  Of course it was from Jesse; Who else?

 

_Hey,_

_I know this was probably a one time thing. And I may be pretty damn drunk right now, but I don't think I’m gonna be able to forget you tomorrow morning. I'm not exactly the kinda guy to do one night stands, so maybe I made a mistake on my part, going home with you. Whatever the case, here's my number. Shoot me a message if you ever want to go at it again._

_Jesse_

 

  And under the note was a phone number. Hanzo eyes it for a moment before simply tossing the note aside. He sighs quietly, telling himself not to think about it. This guy just didn't know who Hanzo was. He didn't know that Hanzo was strictly anti-relationship. But it _was_ fairly amusing that Jesse actually left a damn note on his fridge. Jesse was the only one Hanzo's ever slept with to ever do this sort of thing. A note. Childish.

  He catches himself starting to smile, and he immediately stops it. No. No. What the hell. He clears his throat and turns away, deciding to just get on with his morning. He makes his coffee, gets his breakfast made, then sits down with his laptop to get some business emails out of the way before he headed down to the archery range across town to get some practice in, and to relieve a bit more of the stress the past few days has brought. Last night helped a _lot_ , of course, and the memory of it all seems to stick in Hanzo's mind. After a few frustrating hours, Hanzo closes his laptop, rubbing his hands over his face.

  His phone rings, surprising him a little, and he looks over at it from where it sits on his end table. Seeing it's his brother, he picks it up. “Yes?”

  “Hey, Hanzo. Want to get some lunch? I got some shit taken care of early so I've got the rest of the day free.”

  Shrugging a bit, Hanzo gets up. “I was going to go to the range, but lunch sounds fine. Where should I meet you?” He asks, and once Genji gives him a place, Hanzo says he'll meet him there, then he hangs up. After getting to the place, Hanzo walks over to where Genji is already sitting, and he sits down across from him, murmuring a ‘hello’ in greeting.

  “Hey,” Genji greets him with a small smile. A quick glance over Hanzo tells Genji that something is up, and he leans against the table. “What's up?”

  Hanzo raises an eyebrow at him, picking up  menu. “What do you mean? Nothing is up,” He responds, starting to look over it. Genji scoffs.

  “Oh, please. I can tell just by looking at you that something isn't right. You're all tense,” He points out, gesturing to all of Hanzo.

  Rolling his eyes and setting down his menu, Hanzo sighs. “I'm always tense,” He counters, but Genji shakes his head.

  “I'm not an idiot…” He leans over the table on his elbows, resting his head on folded hands as he stares his brother down. “...could it have something to do with the man leaving your place last night?” He asks quietly, a knowing look on his face.

  Hanzo goes still, then closes his eyes. “How do you know about that, Genji?”

  Genji smirks. “I was driving by to see if you wanted to stay in and maybe have a couple more drinks, maybe a late dinner, but when I saw him walk out, I ah...knew you were previously preoccupied.” He clears his throat a bit.

  Hanzo rubs his hands over his face. He's been caught. “...he left a note on my fridge…he left me his number,” He tells his brother quietly, making Genji chuckle.

  “He left his number...huh,” He smiles a bit, looking up at the ceiling in thought. “So that's what got you worked up? A guy leaving his number?”

  “That's not…that isn't why I'm ‘worked up’,” Hanzo protests, narrowing his eyes. “I- It's because-” God, he can't get himself to say the Goddamn words. Genji just stares at him, waiting patiently for an answer that isn't coming. Hanzo decides to just shut up. He crosses his arms, looking away.

  After a second or two, Genji lets out a little ‘ohh’ before he smiles. “You're thinking of calling him, aren't you?” He asks, grinning, and Hanzo's face heats up, a blush rising to his cheeks both in embarrassment and in shame. He can't bring himself to respond. God fucking damnit. “This is very odd, Hanzo.”

  Hanzo huffs. “Yes, it is, why do you think I'm bothered? It's just such a childish thing, to leave a note after fucking someone,” He mutters.

  Genji doesn't say anything for a moment or two. “...call him,” He murmurs, smiling slightly. Hanzo is about to protest when Genji holds up a hand. “No, seriously. If it's bothering you this much then call him and tell him you don't want anything to do with him. Common courtesy,” He explains, and Hanzo shakes his head a bit.

  “Fine. Fine, you make a fair point. I'll call him tonight.”

  And Hanzo keeps his word.

   It’s late, nearly 11:00 at night, but he figures better late than never. He stares at the phone number at the bottom of that damn note for a solid minute before he picks up his phone and dials it. He's surprised to hear Jesse pick up on the fourth ring.

  “McCree here, who's this?” Ah, a familiar voice.

  “It's…Hanzo. From last night,” Hanzo clarifies. There's a soft gasp on the other end.

  “Hanzo. Why, I never thought I'd hear from you again, if I'm honest,” Jesse admits quietly. “I got a killer hangover still, believe it or not, and you sure did a number on my back- stings like hell, you know-”

  “Jesse, stop. Look, I only called to tell you that I don't wish to keep up whatever you think might have been there when we had sex.” The other end goes quiet, so Hanzo continues. “I know you don't know who I am, but you should understand that if I'm with someone once, that's it. Never again.”

  Jesse is quiet for another second or two before he inhales. “Why?” He asks rather confidently, wanting an answer, and Hanzo has to admit he's just a bit surprised that someone just talked back to him.

  “Because I said so,” He insists firmly. “That’s why.”

  “Seriously?” Jesse asks in disbelief.

  Hanzo rubs the bridge of his nose. “Listen to me, Jesse. I don't do relationships. And being with someone more than once…that's where a relationship starts.”

  “Now, _you_ listen, I never said anything about wantin’ a relationship,” Jesse protests with a little laugh. “We just barely met last night, so I don't know where you got that from. I'm just lookin’ for… _companionship_ right now _,_ if you get what I mean. I may not be a man of one night stands, but I'm not gonna pass up an opportunity to possibly keep in contact with someone as good as you.”

  Hanzo goes quiet. Jesse…had a point? And deep down Hanzo had to agree. Why would he pass up an opportunity such as this? “Companionship…” He repeats the word quietly as he thinks to himself for a moment, and Jesse sighs.

  “Would fuck-buddies be a better word? You understand now?” He asks, a bit impatient, and Hanzo can't help but just…laugh at that.

  “No, I understood before.” He takes a breath, making a decision he thinks he might regret later. “If that's the case…and if that's what you want…I'll leave my door unlocked.”


	2. Chapter 2

  “So, how'd that phone call go?”

  Hanzo looks up from his laptop at his brother as they sit together in their meeting room in the castle. They've been silently working together on setting up meetings, keeping in contact with suppliers and mules, things like that. This was the first time Genji's spoken all afternoon. “What?”

  Genji leans forward on the table. “The phone call with your man,” He clarifies with an eager smile. “Tell me about it.”

  Hanzo scowls. “He's not my man, and it's none of your business how it went.” He looks back down at his laptop, getting back to the email he'd been typing out. Genji purses his lips. 

  “Well…I'm going to assume it went well, based on that, ah, bruise on your neck,” He mumbles, and Hanzo looks up nonchalantly. 

  “Do you  _ really  _ want to hear about my sex life, Genji?” He asks quietly, resting his chin in his hand as leans against the table. Genji pauses for a second. 

  “You've got a point. I don't. But, uh, it must've gone well anyways, all things considered.” He leans back in his seat, picking up his phone. “Are you going to see him again, after this?”

  Hanzo sighs, closing his eyes. “Again, this is all none of your concern, but no,” He tells him, even though he knows it's a huge lie. “Last night was it. It isn't going to happen again.” He closes his laptop, standing up, abruptly changing the topic. “We have to get to that finance meeting, come on,” He tells Genji, who just shrugs and stands up. 

  He decides not to push Hanzo for anymore information, knowing if Hanzo wanted to tell him, he would. He was a private man and didn't often share details of his life, and Genji knew that, so why argue it? But God damnit it these meetings are boring as hell. “Do I have to go?” He asks, looking at him. Hanzo rolls his eyes.

  He doesn't answer for a moment, but before they walk out of the courtyard, he sighs. “No, you don't  _ have  _ to go, but-” Before he can finish, Genji has started walking away. Hanzo watches him, frowning. Damn him. He shakes his head and continues to make his way to the meeting. Sure he ran a gang, but he also ran a business. And he had to go to boring old business meetings every now and then, just like any business owner. He could understand why Genji didn't want to attend.

  As he heads over alone, he gets to thinking about Jesse. Jesse… Why was he such a prominent thought in his mind? Why was he at the forefront of his feelings, his thoughts? He'd told himself before that this wasn't a good idea, and he hadn't listened. There was something there, something inside Hanzo that slipped into place the first time he'd slept with Jesse- hell, the first time he'd even laid eyes on him. Hanzo didn't know what it was, but he just… _ wanted  _ him. And he didn't want people, not like this. 

  Now he had an arrangement he wasn't even sure he wanted to keep because of how this could blow up and go bad in a many ways, but he knew that even if he did call it quits, he wouldn't be able to just dismiss him from his memory. 

  If he had it his way, he'd be able to forget about Jesse, and everything that came along with him. 

 

* * *

 

 

  Jesse idly follows Angela around as they walk through the downtown area, doing some shopping. They hadn't seen each other in a couple weeks because Angela's job at the hospital kept her so busy, so it was nice to have this time together. He, of course, didn't care much for shopping, but he'd gladly do what Angela wanted; she was one of his closest friends. 

  “So tell me,” She starts off as they sit down on a bench outside this little cafe for lunch. “What's been going on with you?” She asks, looking at him. He offers her a shrug. 

  “Nothin’ really,” He says. “You know me, Ang, I'm borin’ as hell.” He picks up the beer he'd gotten, watching as her small smile turns into a frown. “What?”

  “You're lying. There's something on your mind, I can tell. What is it?” She asks, leaning a little closer. “You didn't get fired did you-” She gasps quietly, glaring. “If you got fired, I'm going to-” 

  He holds up a hand to quiet her, laughing. “Nah, don't worry, I didn't get fired.” He sighs heavily. Might as well tell her. She’d find out eventually anyways. “I just met this guy the other day-” Angela ‘ooh’s, making him smile. “Don't get too excited now, it's nothin’ serious. Just kinda havin’ some fun, you know?”

  Angela nods, but she's still smiling. “Well, I'm just happy you aren't all alone anymore. You know I worry about you.” Jesse nods in confirmation. 

  “I know you do, sweetheart. I promise it's all good,” He assures her with a bright smile. He wouldn't consider this thing with Hanzo as no longer being alone, but…if it made Angela happy to hear, he sure would say it. She worried about him a lot because of his past and what he'd been through with Gabriel, a man Jesse used to see as a father figure, a good few years back. None of it had been good, and it took a pretty big toll on him mentally. He couldn't be trusted to be alone for a while, which is where Angela had stepped in. She…helped. A lot. 

  He shakes his head slightly, not wanting to think about it anymore. 

  “I want you to keep me updated,” She tells him with an excited smile. He nods at her, smiling, silently agreeing to her request. 

  “You'll be the first to know everything, honey, don't worry,” He assures her. She beams at him, patting his arm. 

  They sit in relative silence as they get on with their lunch, and as they're walking back to Jesse's truck, Angela looks up at him. “When are you seeing him again?” She asks, and Jesse takes a moment to think. Then, he shrugs. 

  “Not sure. He's…kind of in charge here,” He says with a nervous smile. “I mean, I don't mind it much. It's only been a few days.” He shrugs again, and they're interrupted when Jesse's phone goes off. He pulls it from his pocket and looks at the message preview on his screen. A simple list of dates and times from Hanzo, a list that's spread out over a few weeks. He purses his lips, then shows the screen to Angela. “I guess  _ this _ is when I'm seeing him again.”

  Her eyes quickly scan the message before she laughs. “Wow, how romantic,” She says through her laughter, looking up at Jesse. “Not even any words, literally just a scheduled list of fuck dates.” She looks at him. “You sure know how to pick them” 

  Jesse smirks. “Hey, as long as I'm getting laid, I'm happy,” He says with a big shrug, smirk turning to a grin. He's only lying a little bit. “No words necessary.” 

  She rolls her eyes, elbowing him gently. “You're something else, Jesse.” 

  Jesse simply chuckles in response, but a quick look at the message again makes his heart tighten just a little bit. A list. Kind of a long one, too. Three meetings a week, scheduled down to the hour. Jesse wonders what kind of business Hanzo is in, because an average person does not schedule and plan dates like this, and this far ahead too. He'll have to remind himself to ask when he gets the chance, but even so, he finds this very amusing, even if it does make him feel a bit bad. Jesse locks his phone with a quiet sigh, sliding it back into his pocket. He tries to focus on Angela again, but he can't help but feel a twinge of sadness. He has, in some weird way, been reduced to a list. Well…

  At least he was good for something.

 

* * *

 

 

  Hanzo's hand slides into Jesse's hair, tugging it, yanking Jesse's head back, eliciting a groan from the man. “Holy hell,” He moans, and Hanzo grins, sharply thrusting into him, making him jerk forward. Hanzo just  _ loves _ seeing Jesse in front of him like this; Jesse is on all fours, hands gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles are white, whole body shaking and trembling with each thrust Hanzo gives him. It felt amazing, knowing that  _ he  _ could turn Jesse into a trembling, moaning mess, pleads for more falling from his lips like prayer.

  Hanzo shoves Jesse's head down, hands moving to grip Jesse's wrists, pinning them to the mattress. Jesse couldn't begin to explain how that made him feel. Dominated, bossed around, put in a position where he had to listen instead of speak. He realizes now, from one little move from Hanzo, that he likes this feeling. He likes letting Hanzo take control, letting him think for him- and maybe he likes how hard Hanzo's grip on him is…

  Hanzo bites his lip a bit, fucking into Jesse a bit faster, starting to chase his orgasm. He was close- Jesse was tight as hell and it made this so,  _ so  _ much better. Jesse groans, pushing back against Hanzo's thrusts, wanting him deeper. “H-Hanzo,” He gasps out, voice tight as he tries to gather his thoughts and his words. “‘M gonna cum-”

  “Mhm,” Hanzo hums in response, releasing Jesse's wrists and instead grabbing his waist, letting Jesse sit up enough to grip his own cock, stroking himself just a time or two to send himself over the edge, cumming all over Hanzo's sheets, gasping for breath as his body tenses and releases, shuddering as all those amazing feelings just wash over him. Hanzo feels every little tremor from Jesse around his cock, and he tilts his head back a bit, keeping his hips moving until he nearly can't take it anymore. With a quick move, Hanzo pulls out and finishes, groaning quietly, his eyes slipping shut as he spills himself onto Jesse's back. 

  Jesse shivers a little bit when he feels it, but he doesn't say anything, just kind of enjoying the sound of Hanzo trying the catch his breath, the way it shakes as he comes down from that beautiful high. He grins a bit, turning over to see Hanzo still up on his knees above him, looking down at Jesse. “Good?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo smirks. 

  “Yes. Ah…I need a minute,” Hanzo tells him, taking another deep breath, and that makes Jesse chuckle. 

  “That's sweet, darlin’. Got you that riled up, huh?” He shifts forward and presses a kiss to Hanzo's lips, smiling slightly. Hanzo kisses him back for a second before he pulls back, running a hand through his hair. He nudges Jesse away after a quick kiss on the cheek, then he gets to relaxing, lying into the bed as if he's getting ready to pass out for the night. He doesn't invite Jesse to come sit with him, which does sting just a little, but Jesse understands. Hanzo told him from the beginning he wasn't a cuddler, and that Jesse wasn't allowed to stay the night. Jesse gets up wordlessly, wincing a bit at the ache inside of him as he bends down to pick up his clothes. 

  Hanzo watches him, watching the way his body moves. Even doing such a simple thing as picking up clothes…Frankly, he looked damn gorgeous. Hanzo aches for something…something can't quite place. After a second of thought… he realizes he doesn't want him to go yet. “Jesse,” Hanzo murmurs, his voice soft and a bit tired sounding. Jesse looks up, his pants in his hand. He raises an eyebrow in question, and Hanzo makes a ‘come here’ gesture. A bit surprised, Jesse walks over, dropping his clothes on the floor again. 

  “What?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo silently cups Jesse's face in his hands, kissing him, kind of pulling him back into bed and onto his lap. Hanzo doesn't even have to tell him what to do, because Jesse just kind of knows. 

  “Once more,” He requests quietly, running a hand down Jesse's back, smirking smugly when his fingers come across his cum. Jesse huffs quietly, rolling his eyes as Hanzo's hand just continues to stroke his back, fingers light against his sticky skin. 

  “You insatiable bastard,” Jesse mutters as he straddles Hanzo's hips. ”You oughta give my ass a good rest after this,” He says with a little glare. Hanzo just laughs quietly as Jesse reaches between his legs to make sure he was lined up with Hanzo's cock. “Swear to God, I'll-” 

  “Jesse, stop talking,” Hanzo interrupts, a look of dominance crossing his face. He's mostly teasing, but when he sees that Jesse visibly shivers, and even more that he actually shut up, Hanzo can't help but feel pretty satisfied. 

  “Yes boss,” Jesse whispers teasingly, voice breathy and shaky as he's filled up all over again, his body- which still felt light, tingly, and rather over stimulated  -shuddering at the fact he's being penetrated yet again. It felt damn good. Planting his hands firmly on Hanzo's chest, he wastes no time in starting to grind down on Hanzo's cock, biting his lip as he takes every inch of it. “Damn,” He whispers under his breath, closing his eyes. 

  Hanzo lies back and lets Jesse do the work, going quiet himself. Maybe he hadn't wanted Jesse to leave quite yet.  _ Maybe _ . But he couldn't just say that; that would defeat the entire purpose of their arrangement, which was no strings attached. And asking him to stay would just be letting one of those strings latch on. So instead of saying it…why not just fuck him again? Hide his desire with sex. 

  The night is over too soon in Jesse's mind, and as he picks up his clothes once more- now twice as sticky as he was before -he can't help but want, just a little bit, to be asked to stay. Sure, he didn't want a relationship, but he  _ did _ want to at least relax with Hanzo for a little while… Pulling on his boots, he glances at Hanzo. “So,” He clears his throat. “When should I swing by again?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo just smiles slightly.

  “I'll let you know, Jesse,” He says quietly, watching as he walks towards the door. Jesse nods, chuckling quietly. Damn, that guy had him on a leash. At his command. Roles of power must come natural to Hanzo, Jesse thinks. He gives Hanzo a little salute before leaving, a slight limp in his step, on that makes Hanzo sigh in satisfaction. 

  When he hears his front door close, he finally feels as if he can relax. He takes a quick shower, changes his sheets real quick, then makes sure he's ready for bed. As he's walking towards it, something catches his eye on the floor a few feet away from his bedroom door. He turns and looks and it's- shit, it's Jesse's hat… He walks over and picks it up, looking it over. He runs his thumb over the well-worn fabric on the brim, easily able to tell that Jesse hadn't ever gone a day without wearing this damn thing. He catches himself smiling a little, and he quickly shakes that off before sighing in frustration. Damn it. Damn it… He looks at the hat again before walking over to his nightstand and placing it right on top of the lampshade to sit there until the next time Jesse came around. 

  It's been two weeks since Hanzo had first met Jesse, and Hanzo had to admit he'd done too much thinking about this lately. Why was Jesse, out of all the people Hanzo has ever slept with, the one that made him feel fucked up, the one that screwed with his mind and his emotions? Things were going downhill, and they were going downhill  _ fast _ . The first week had gone fine with no issue, but after Jesse insisted hanging out for a while beforehand one day, Hanzo felt like…he felt like Jesse was actually looking for a friendship. Maybe even something more. Their meetings hadn't ever left the bedroom, and now Jesse wants to… “hang out”. He just- he doesn't think he can do it. It felt too weird, too wrong to him. He couldn't let himself open up this way. He didn't want to know Jesse, and he didn't want Jesse to know him. And yet…so much of him was yearning for Jesse to stay tonight, even if he didn't want to admit it.

  But honestly was there any point in trying to avoid it at this point? Hanzo knows that he has a lot to think about, and a lot to decide, before Jesse came around next. He crawls into bed, thinking about how worrisome it was that he'd actually wanted Jesse to stay. 

  To his distaste, he falls asleep looking at that Goddamn hat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tip: don't try posting things while literally falling asleep. I keep finding typo after typo after looking over the doc, and pals, I am very sorry


	3. Chapter 3

  “Just one drink.”

  Hanzo closes his eyes as he listens to Jesse try to convince him to go out with him for a drink. It was Friday, the town was lively with people getting off work and going out and relaxing and Jesse definitely wanted a part of that. Hanzo, of course, didn't. “No,” He responds with a tired sigh.

  Jesse huffs impatiently. “Hanzo, we literally met at that Goddamn bar, I don't see why-” 

  “I don't want to,” Hanzo says again, more sternly this time.

  “Why?”

  Hanzo scowls. The mouth on this man. He'd have to find a way to get him not to cop an attitude with him… “Why? Because I don't want to communicate with you outside of our meetings. That's why.”

  Jesse hums quietly, not saying anything for a second or two. “Ah. Well, I kinda doubt that.”

  Rolling his eyes, Hanzo shakes his head a little. “You doubt that? Why?”

  “Because you're talkin’ to me on the phone…and we're certainly not at one of our little meetings. If you didn't want to, you wouldn't have picked up the phone when I called.” He chuckles. “And you haven't hung up yet.”

  Hanzo's jaw drops a bit before he closes his mouth, trying to form a response. “It's common decency to answer the phone, McCree- Look, don't bother me when we aren't together. Do you understand?”

  Jesse frowns a bit, hearing that. He felt like a scolded child. “...yeah, alright, I get it. Anyways,” He sighs. “You know where I'll be if you wanna do anythin'.” And he hangs up the phone, not waiting for another response.

  Hanzo stares at his phone when Jesse hangs up on him, surprised. Wow. Of course he'd throw a fit. Hanzo had laid out the rules. Jesse was at fault if he didn't want go follow them. Really, though, he and Jesse had nothing in common, what could they possibly talk about without the buffer of sex between them? Hanzo tosses his phone on his coffee table, crossing his arms as he plops down on the couch. No. He wasn't going. He couldn't allow Jesse the satisfaction of being able to sway Hanzo's direction. After only a moment of pouting, though, Hanzo sighs and gets up, grabs his keys, and heads out the door.

  Well… one drink couldn't hurt, right?

  He walks into the bar, shrugging off his coat as he does. As he expected, Jesse is sitting at the bar, a couple glasses around him. He takes a small breath and walks over to him, gently squeezing his shoulder. Jesse jumps a little as he turns around, but he goes still when he sees that it's Hanzo. “Wh- Hey, Hanzo,” He says quietly, surprised. He smirks. “I thought you didn't want to see me.”

  Hanzo hums quietly as he takes a seat beside Jesse. “I came only for a drink. Not for you,” He tells him, gesturing for the bartender to bring him a drink. It was... kind of a lie. 

   Jesse chuckles. “Mhm, keep telling yourself that.” He sips from the glass in his hand. Hanzo smirks.

   "Shut up," He says, trying not to chuckle. Huh. Okay, this was a bit easier than he thought, talking to him. 

  "I don't know why you're so against just hanging out with me. We're friends, right?" Jesse asks, looking at him.

    _That_ makes Hanzo laugh. "Uh, no," He says through his laughter, and Jesse frowns a bit. 

   "I kinda think we are," He says, looking at him. "You're bein' a dick when I was tryin' to have a good time with you."

   "I'm having a fine time, Jesse, but what we have is...it's just sex." Once more, kind of a lie.

   Shrugging a bit, deciding not to argue that, Jesse smiles a bit. "Okay, sure. But like I said...you can go ahead and keep tellin' yourself." Because it wouldn't make it any more true than it was, even if he denied it. Hanzo just looks away, sighing. 

  “I'd watch my mouth if I were you,” He warns quietly. He doesn't look at Jesse, but he hears him inhale sharply, and he knows he's gotten to him a little with that kind of talk. “You got me out here when I didn't want to be in the first place, but apparently that isn't enough for you...” He looks at him, only to see Jesse giving him an 'are you fuckin' serious' look. Hanzo sighs. “I think you owe me.”

  Jesse laughs out loud. “Do I? Well I'll be damned, what'd you have in mind then, boss?” Jesse asks, grinning, and Hanzo's eyes roll toward the ceiling in thought. Then, he looks at him, quickly finishing his drink and standing up. He grabs Jesse's hand and pulls him to his feet. Surprised, Jesse just follows him as he's led down the hallway leading to the bathrooms. “Hanzo, where are you- wait, are you serious?” Hanzo stops at the end of the hallway, ignoring his question. 

  He gets his hands on his belt, unbuckling it. “On your knees, Jesse,” He murmurs, and Jesse's eyes go wide. Was he serious? One, he couldn't believe Hanzo wanted this. They were in public, but even so...Jesse found the situation amusing. Two, he could understand going into the actual bathroom to get this done, but the hallway? Hanzo must already be buzzed enough to think this was okay. Jesse glances around, stepping close, frowning slightly

  “Now, hold on a second, Hanzo-” 

  “What did I say about watching your mouth?” Hanzo reminds him with a smirk. “I suppose…if it's otherwise occupied, you might stop talking back…” He looks Jesse right in the eyes as he unzips his jeans. “On your knees,” He repeats, voice no louder than a whisper. 

  Surprised, Jesse just stands there for a moment. He can't even find it in him to respond. After another quick glance down the hall, he drops to his knees. What the hell. What the hell, he might as well fucking do this. He liked getting Hanzo off anyways, so it was a win-win. He guessed, in a way, he did owe Hanzo for pestering him so much. Ah, well... He looks up at Hanzo, right in the eyes, and takes Hanzo's cock from his boxers, getting his hand around him, followed by his mouth. Hanzo looks down at him, watching as he gets right to work.

  Hanzo's hand slides into Jesse's hair, gripping it as he guides Jesse's mouth, making the other man moan. Feeling every little swirl of his tongue, every light scrape of his teeth, every little hum and vibration around him- “Fuck, Jesse, yeah,” He whispers, voice just a bit shaky. “You really know what you're doing, huh-” 

  Jesse pops off, breathing hard and looking up at him, making direct eye contact. “Shut your mouth,” He teases with a smug grin. 

  Hanzo looks at him in surprise. Then, he laughs. “Bitch,” He says through his laughter, and Jesse can't help but laugh with him, even as he takes his cock in his mouth again, getting back to work. Hanzo bites his lip, his laughter and smile fading, feeling that heat swirl around inside him as Jesse just works him up, faster than he expected. Shit, shit- “Oh my G-  _ fuck _ -” He thrusts into Jesse's mouth, keeping him held still as he cums, doing his best to stifle himself, keep himself quiet. Jesse takes it like a Goddamn champ, and Hanzo definitely has to admire that. After a second or two, he collects himself, letting Jesse pull away and stand up. 

  Jesse wipes his mouth, wincing a bit. “Ugh, coulda warned me,” He mumbles, and Hanzo smirks, putting himself away, zipping his pants back up.

  “Would you rather I get it all over you?” He asks quietly, and Jesse is about to speak when someone walks down the hall, making both men go stiff. The person only spares them a glance before going into the bathroom. They both relax. “That was fun,” He murmurs, smiling slightly. 

  Jesse scoffs. “Risky as hell is what it was, you ass,” He mutters, nudging him with his elbow as they leave the hallway. “You gotta thing for public sex or somethin’?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo chuckles.

  “Hardly,” He responds as they start walking out of the bar. “I like a little thrill every now and then, though.” 

  Jesse shakes his head. “I'm gonna have a hard time keepin’ up with you,” He says, taking a big breath. Then, he looks at him. “Anything else you're into that I should know about before you spring it on me?” He asks, mostly joking. His heart skips a beat when Hanzo actually gets a thoughtful look on his face. “Wait, are you really thinkin’ about this?”

  Hanzo nods. “Of course I am. There's a thing or two I'd love to do with you,” He tells him simply, and Jesse raises an eyebrow. 

  “You got me a little scared now. What is it?” He asks cautiously, looking him over, the smug look on Hanzo's face making him a tad uneasy. 

  “Have you ever been tied up, Jesse?” He asks, crossing his arms. Jesse laughs. 

 “Ah, wow. Um, sure? Maybe- okay,  _ definitely  _ not in the bedroom, but yeah,” He answers, shoving his hands in his pockets. That wasn't exactly something he really wanted to participate in. Nah, being tied up held too many bad memories of his old line of work. He shakes off that feeling and pretends like it's nothing. “You know, I shoulda expected that. Big ol’ business man, fancy as hell, with secret desires in the bedroom or some shit. Am I right? Did I get that?” He's grinning, but Hanzo purses his lips. 

  “Somewhat, yes, Jesse,” He says with a small smile. “I fit the stereotype, a little.” 

  “God, you really do. It makes sense, thinkin’ about it. You're  _ too _ good at bossin’ me around.” He scoffs. “I don't know why I listen to you.”

  “You listen to me because you want to,” Hanzo tells him, his voice quiet, a bit sensual. “Because you  _ like  _ listening to me…”

  Jesse's face heats up a bit, and he clears his throat. “You should…maybe not say that sorta thing in public,” Is all he says in response, and Hanzo chuckles.

  “Fair enough…” He steps closer. “Come back to mine.”

 

* * *

 

 

  “My hat! Son of a bitch, you coulda called me to let me know it was here!” Jesse grumbles with a bitter look on his face. He goes over to the lampshade Hanzo put it on and sighs. “Was lookin’ all over the place for this,” He murmurs, turning and looking at Hanzo. “You were holdin’ it hostage, huh?”

  “Absolutely not,” Hanzo insists, going over to Jesse and casually taking off his belt, not acknowledging the small gasp that comes from Jesse as he's robbed of his belt. Hanzo steps away, inspecting the belt. Yes, this will do just fine. “I forgot it was here, to be honest. And it seems that you did too, since you never called to ask.” He snaps the leather in his hands, making Jesse jump a bit. 

  “Fair enough,” He murmurs. “So, uh, what are you…” He points at his belt in Hanzo's hands. Hanzo smiles slightly. 

  “On the bed, Jesse,” He says quietly, and Jesse eyes him. He crosses his arms in defiance, ignoring the very slightly panicked feeling starting to blossom in his chest. No, he could get past this. He could get past it easy… Just turn the tables on him. He smirks at Hanzo, trying to seem confident and a bit...dominant. If he played his cards right, he could totally pull this off. 

  “Nah, Hanzo. Who don't  _ you _ do it?” He asks, nodding his head at the bed. Hanzo stares at him in surprise. He wasn't expecting that. 

  “Excuse me?” He asks, shoulders going stiff.

  “Yeah.” Jesse walks over to him, sliding a hand across Hanzo's chest, letting it move over his shoulder, his fingertips grazing the skin at the back of Hanzo's neck, sending a shiver down Hanzo's spine. Hanzo goes still, trembling ever so slightly at Jesse's touch. “Why don't  _ you _ get on the bed? Let me take the wheel, huh?” He kisses Hanzo's cheek, letting his lips linger. Hanzo closes his eyes, exhaling a shaky breath. 

  “Fine,” He whispers, sitting down on the bed, handing Jesse his belt. Jesse takes it back, smiling at it. Hanzo lies down, getting comfortable. “Do you want me to take anything off?” He asks, looking up at Jesse. Jesse purses his lips, then shakes his head.

  “Nope. Arms up now,” He says, gesturing to the headboard. Hanzo rolls his eyes and brings his hands up to the headboard, holding them near one of the slats in the wood. Jesse walks over and casually gets his belt around Hanzo's crossed wrists and the wood, making sure the binding is tight, but not painful. “That okay?” Hanzo nods. “Pull for me? Hard as you can.” Hanzo huffs and pulls on the restraint as hard as he can. It doesn't budge- Jesse is pretty proud of himself, having only had his belt to work with. 

  “So is your plan to leave me bound here?” Hanzo asks, looking up at Jesse again. “In my clothes, not to mention…” 

  Jesse laughs a little. “Yup.” He answers with a smug grin. Hanzo's jaw drops a bit, shocked. 

  “You are not,” He whispers. “You are  _ not _ .”

  Jesse laughs even more at Hanzo's expression. “Okay, okay, I'm not.” Then, he goes over to him, getting on the bed, nudging Hanzo's legs apart. Hanzo eyes him warily, but Jesse just pats his cheek. “But no sex.” 

  “Excuse me?”

  “Mhm. Sex is for guys who don't make me blow them in a bar,” Jesse teases playfully, making Hanzo scowl bitterly. He doesn't say anything to that. Jesse then leans down and presses a kiss to Hanzo's lips, bringing a hand down to cup Hanzo's cock through his pants, making Hanzo inhale sharply and pull away before he can kiss him back. 

  “Jesse,” He breathes, wincing a bit as Jesse just starts massaging him, working him up without even directly touching him. “What are you-”

  “Shh.” Jesse shushes him. Wow. This whole role reversal thing was a lot easier than Jesse thought; What started as trying not to panic has turned to Jesse actually enjoying himself here. It was nice to be on this end of things now. Maybe he could knock Hanzo down a peg, deflate that ego of his a little. Make him know what it's like to have someone else be in charge. 

  “You're on thin fucking ice right now,” Hanzo groans, his hips subconsciously moving up to try and get some more friction from Jesse's hand. Jesse smirks.

  “Am I?” He asks, tilting his head. Hanzo bites his lip for a moment. The harder he gets, the more he wants Jesse's touch. Jesse definitely notices, making sure to keep stroking him through his pants, working him over. 

  Hanzo lets out a quiet moan as Jesse's hand slides over the head of his cock. “God damnit, Jesse-” He cuts himself off, shutting his eyes. He tugs against the restraint.

  Jesse smirks. “What?” He asks innocently, squeezing Hanzo's cock, making the other man groan and pull on the restraint even more. 

  “T-” Hanzo can't believe he's been reduced to this. “Touch me,” He whispers, more like a demand.

  Jesse just smiles, kissing him again, his hand teasingly moving up, his fingers dipping just below Hanzo's waistband. Hanzo kisses him back, spreading his legs in the hopes that Jesse will actually touch him now. But Jesse doesn't, keeping his hand still, and that's when he pulls away. 

  “Jesse I swear to fucking God.”

  Jesse laughs, the sound light and completely amused. “How close are you?” He asks, a playful tone to his voice. 

  Hanzo glares at him. “I'd be closer if you actually fucking touched me,” He mutters. “Stop teasing me.”

  Deciding that he doesn't want to get yelled at by and increasingly angry Hanzo, Jesse gives in and kisses his cheek and gets Hanzo's pants down just enough to pull his cock free, finally touching him skin to skin, making Hanzo sigh in relief. Much, much better. Jesse smirks down at him as he starts really stroking him off. “It woulda been nice to see you cum in your pants, Han,” Jesse says thoughtfully. 

   Hanzo scowls again, eyes narrowing. “I'm not a teenager, I don't cum in my pants from some simple heavy petting,” He murmurs, his voice breathy. “It's not enough to- oh, God,” He's cut off when Jesse's thumb rubs over the head, keeping the focus there, lighting up all of Hanzo's nerve endings. That was just right. That's what really gets Hanzo squirming under Jesse's touch after a moment or two. He winces a little, thrusting up against Jesse's hand, moaning. He's tugging hard on the restraint now, his whole body going tense. “I'm-” 

  Jesse hums a bit, pretty pleased with himself for working Hanzo up like this. He's even more pleased when Hanzo lets out a low groan, spilling himself into Jesse's hand and on himself. “There ya go,” Jesse murmurs, giving him a couple more strokes before he takes his hand away, sitting back and watching Hanzo's chest heave as he comes down from his orgasmic high. 

  Hanzo swallows hard, finding his words after a moment. “Let me go,” He whispers, his eyes closed. Jesse smiles a bit and leans over Hanzo to get his belt undone and away from Hanzo's hands. The second Hanzo is able to move, he sits up and grabs the sides of Jesse's face, kissing him hard, hands sliding into his hair, gripping hard.

  It feels like the wind has been knocked out of him, but Jesse kisses him right back, even if he lowkey wasn't expecting this after all that teasing. Hanzo keeps it up for a second before he pulls back, breathing hard. He just looks into Jesse's eyes, unable to find his words anymore, purely because his mind is racing too fast for him to grab any comprehensive sentence. Jesse doesn't say anything, looking back at him, wondering what Hanzo was thinking right now. That look in his eyes... it was confused, worried. Jesse is confused, but he says nothing, continuing to look at him. 

Hanzo couldn't…he couldn't believe what Jesse was making him feel. Instead of saying anything, he kisses Jesse again, pushing him onto his back. Hanzo hates the way his chest grows warm when Jesse cups his face, kisses him back, touches him in even the simplest way. 

  What the hell was happening to him?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws angst and emotions at you*  
> have Sad™

 Jesse shoves his hands in his pockets as he walks out of the big rec center downtown, where his monthly PTSD support group was held. He wasn't sure that he liked going and spilling everything about himself and his experiences, sharing his feelings and shit like that, but Angela had insisted he go. Right as soon as he got home a few years back, as soon as she heard about what happened, she demanded that he go find a therapist make sure he's okay, to not keep things bottled up. Jesse assured her he was fine and skipped out on the therapy, but went to the support group to appease her.

  He starts walking down the street to get to his truck, but he's stopped in his tracks when a man runs right in front of him at full speed, making him gasp and jump back. “The hell-?” He turns his head in the direction the man came from to see what he's running from, and he's shocked to see Hanzo running after him, then slowing to a stop when he can't catch up, breathing hard. Jesse throws his arms up. “Hanzo, what the fuck?”

  Eyes wide, Hanzo looks at Jesse. Oh shit. “Uh…hi,” He says with a little wave. Jesse frowns. 

  “Why the hell were you chasing that guy?” He asks, gesturing to the direction the man was running.

  Hanzo looks away, quickly thinking of a simple, somewhat vague excuse. “He… didn't pay back all the money he owed me,” He explains simply, looking back at Jesse, still catching his breath a bit. “And he ran.” He sighs and pulls out his phone. “Damn it, I'm going to have to send someone after him,” He mumbles to himself, as if this is such a chore. 

  Jesse looks so damn confused. “Hanzo, I have no idea what's goin’ on- what-?” He looks at him, cautious. “Is there somethin’ you haven't told me?”

  Hanzo pauses, then looks up at him. “I don't recall owing you my life story, Jesse,” He says, and Jesse frowns.

  “Oh, please.” He steps towards him, narrowing his eyes. “What's really goin’ on?”

  Hanzo sighs impatiently and puts his phone back in his pocket. “Like I said. I don't have to tell you anything.” He looks him over a bit, but his eyes stop when a sunbeam hits a piece of metal around Jesse's neck. Oh. Dogtags. So Jesse was a military man then. Interesting... “...and I suppose there's something you don't want to tell me either, Jesse,” He murmurs, looking back up at him, and Jesse is kind of confused. 

  “What do you-?”

  Hanzo tugs at the dogtags a bit. “I haven't seen you with these before.” Jesse smacks Hanzo's hand away, taking a step back. He opens his mouth to say something, then he stops. Hanzo got him there. If he said he didn't have to explain anything to him, that would make him a hypocrite, wouldn't it? 

  So he doesn't mention that. “Yeah, so?” Is all he manages to get out, making Hanzo roll his eyes, crossing his arms. 

  “ _ So _ , there's things both of us don't wish to share. Now, are we done here? May I go?” He asks quietly, and Jesse sighs. 

  “Alright, alright, whatever. Nice runnin’ into you, Hanzo, ” He says sarcastically before he waves Hanzo off, a bit irritated. 

  Without another word, or even a goodbye, Hanzo turns and starts walking away, pulling his phone out again. He quickly dials a number, then starts talking in Japanese. Jesse can't understand, obviously, but he does pick out Genji's name. He'd only met Genji once, while he was walking into Hanzo's apartment and Genji was walking out. Probably against his better judgement, he starts following Hanzo, hands in his pockets. He kind of wanted some answers here, and maybe he'd give some to Hanzo too. Hanzo hangs up after a hasty goodbye when he hears Jesse's footsteps behind him. “What, Jesse?”

  “I wanna talk,” He says simply, falling into stride with him. Hanzo sighs. 

  “About?” He asks, glancing at him. “I'm not going to talk about myself with you, if that's what you want to know,” He tells him before Jesse can even say anything.

  Jesse huffs. “Listen here, Hanzo. We got this thing goin’ on, and it don't look like it's stoppin’ anytime soon. Kinda wanna know whose dick I'm puttin’ in me.”

  Hanzo has to suppress a snort. Holy shit. He fights off a smile. “Do you really have to be so crude?” He asks, doing his best to keep a completely straight face. Jesse smirks, able to see right through it. 

  “Nah, but it's fun seein’ you blush.” He pokes Hanzo's cheek, making Hanzo smack his hand away. Jesse's small smile fades. “But seriously. If…If we're gonna keep doin’ this, it can't stay somewhat anonymous forever. We’re gonna get to know each other whether you like it or not, so there's no use in tryin’ to ignore it- ignore  _ me. _ ”

  Hanzo sighs quietly, looking at Jesse. “You make some fair points,” He agrees quietly. He knows- and he  _ has _ known -that eventually they'd know more than just their names and their bodies, that was just how it worked when you spent so much time with someone. They'd just be cutting out the middleman here. “Alright, Jesse,” He says with a resigned sigh. “Let's talk.”

 

* * *

 

 

  Hanzo and Jesse sit down on Hanzo's couch, both of them with a beer bottle in their hand. They both take a moment to collect themselves, then before Jesse can speak, Hanzo reaches over and tugs the dog tags around Jesse's neck. “Tell me about this, Jesse,” He requests, his voice quiet, and Jesse takes a breath. 

  “Guess I'm goin’ first then,” He mutters, eyes rolling up towards the ceiling to figure out how he's going to start. “Well,” He starts off. “I was…well, my parents passed when I was maybe…fourteen? Fifteen? Can't remember much, but I was basically out on the streets, got wound up in the wrong crowd.” He smiles a bit. “I was a real stupid kid. My dad- my adoptive dad -thought so too, but…he didn't give up on me. Not for a second. He took me in, got me outta that mess, straightened me up. He was a military man, and naturally I wanted to follow in his footsteps. Be like dad someday, ya know?”

  Hanzo hums quietly, nodding. He knew that feeling very well. 

  “We end up getting deployed together about…five, six years ago, I think.” He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “We…were out on a mission. A bit of spy work,” He chuckles. “But we aren't that great of spies. We got caught.” He sighs, and Hanzo goes a little tense. 

  Oh. He thinks he knows where this is going…

  “We were captive for…months,” He murmurs, his eyes going a bit vacant as he remembers everything. “Right before our team found us, my dad- Gabe -uh, decided we were gonna try and escape. He wasn't gonna sit around and wait anymore, he told me. So we tried, and…got caught again. I made it out alive…he didn't.” He sniffs, blinking and looking away. “Team found me the next day.” He takes a big drink of his beer. “...if he'd waited one more Goddamn day…” He shakes his head a bit, finishing off his beer and setting the bottle aside.

  Hanzo swallows hard, gathering his thoughts for a moment. “I had no idea that you'd…that you'd gone through something like this, Jesse,” He says, voice soft and quiet. He wanted to reach out for him, comfort him, but he had no idea what to do to do so. Jesse chuckles, shaking his head. 

  “That's ‘cause I didn't want you to know,” He murmurs. “You're…you're such a strong man, Hanzo, and I-I didn't want you to see that all that happened affected me like it did- like it  _ does _ . I never wanted you to know I used to be military because I didn't wanna go back and think about all this, for one. I didn't…” He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. “I didn't want to spill all these emotions to you. I didn't wanna seem…weak, in front of you.”

  Hanzo's eyebrows raise up in surprise. “Excuse me?” He scoots closer, setting his bottle down to grip Jesse's shoulders. “Jesse, listen to me,” He murmurs, his voice firm, expression matching his tone. “Look at me.” Jesse sighs before opening his eyes and looking at Hanzo. Hanzo's a bit struck by the sad look in Jesse's eyes, but he saves face, continuing to speak. “I could never do what you did. I couldn't even imagine it. Nothing you do could ever make me see you as weak.” Hanzo's head swims a little. He's not used to this amount of emotion; this was probably the most heartfelt conversation he's had in his entire life... Jesse closes his eyes again, and Hanzo cups his face, swallowing nervously when Jesse leans into his touch. Keep it cool, Hanzo… “Nothing. Do you understand?” He asks quietly, and Jesse opens his eyes again.

  Instead of speaking, he just closes the space between them and kisses him, sliding his arms around him and pulling him close. “Bed,” He whispers, and Hanzo nods, giving him one more quick kiss before he stands up, pulling Jesse along with him. They make their way to Hanzo's room, where they pick up right where left off. Jesse once more pulls Hanzo close as he lies down in his back, Hanzo on top of him, one of his hands sliding up to take Hanzo's hair out of its bun. Hanzo doesn't protest, melting into the kiss just a bit as he feels his hair fall around their faces. 

  This was the slowest they've ever taken things; after such an emotional conversation, after making himself so vulnerable, Jesse didn't have the energy to go at it like usual. Hanzo can tell, too. He doesn't try to pick up the pace, but follows Jesse's lead instead. Clothes come off slowly, hands graze skin, kisses linger, and breaths are soft and light against lips as their bodies connect once more, fitting against each other like they hadn't before. Neither of them are sure what love making is, if it's even a thing, but they both figure this is what it has to be. This...connection, the emotion, the act...it had to be this. Neither says a word as they come down from their respective highs when it's over, wrapped up in each other's arms.

  Jesse doesn't want to spoil this. Hanzo hasn't actually let him cuddle before, and he definitely wanted to savor this moment, in case he never got it again. Hanzo keeps his arm around Jesse, keeping him held close as they try to calm their breathing. After a few minutes of quiet between them, Jesse rests his head on Hanzo's chest, listening to his slowing heatbeat.

   “...your turn,” He whispers, and Hanzo blinks in confusion.

  “What?” He asks quietly, and Jesse chuckles. 

  “I bared my soul, Han, it's your turn now,” He clarifies, and Hanzo smirks. 

  “I suppose you're right,” He agrees quietly, sighing and gearing up to explain this in the lightest way he can think of.

  Jesse grins, nodding, turning over and resting his head on Hanzo's chest so he can see him. “Mhm. Tell me who you are, mystery man.” For real, Jesse has been seeing Hanzo for over a month now, and he still had no idea what Hanzo even did for a living. Hanzo was always so dodgy about it. 

  Hanzo sits up a bit so he can see Jesse a bit better, then pets his hair. “Alright,” He sighs, closing his eyes in thought. “If I tell you all of this, I must trust you to not go to the police. Are we understood?” He asks, looking at Jesse, and Jesse raises an eyebrow.

  “Seriously?” He asks, and Hanzo nods. 

  “Seriously.”

  Jesse grins. “What, gonna have to kill me if I do?”

  Deadpan, Hanzo nods. “It's a very big possibility, yes.” 

  Jesse's face falls flat. “Shit. Okay, sure, yeah,” He whispers. “Won't say nothin’.”

  A small, playful smirk on his lips, Hanzo nods again. “Good.” Jesse relaxes, seeing Hanzo’s expression. “Well, to put it all simply…My family has run the biggest crime ring in the city for generations. I was trained and raised from birth to be the next leader of the gang, being the firstborn. A while back, my father died, and I took over like I was supposed to. Ever since, I've been doing a lot of the deals and business work.” He clears his throat. “Like today…someone didn't pay us when they were supposed to, and they had to face the consequences. Genji should be taking care of that now, actually,” He muses more to himself. 

  Jesse is quiet for a moment before he takes a breath. “Okay…that's kinda not what I was expectin’, but that's one hell of a…thing,” He says with a little laugh. Hanzo smiles a bit, shrugging.

  “You wanted to know.” He strokes Jesse's hair again. “And now you do.” Jesse nods in agreement, pursing his lips in thought.

  “Tell me somethin’, you ever killed anyone?” Before Hanzo can answer, Jesse keeps talking. “The day we met, was that blood on your shirt from killin’ someone?” He asks, and Hanzo laughs even though he probably shouldn't. Jesse was like a curious little kid right now, and even though it was such a bad topic, Hanzo couldn't help but be amused. 

  “Jesse I have killed several people, and that's a very unfortunate fact about me,” He answers honestly, trying to keep his smile at bay. “Honestly, though…I'm the last person you should be asking that question to.” After finishing that sentence, he no longer feels like smiling. “I'm not proud of what I've done. I've spent my whole life knowing what I had to do for my family.” He sighs. ”I've had to do some awful things…I may do what I need to, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it.”

  Jesse looks at him, not responding. He moves up to rest his head on Hanzo's shoulder. Hanzo keeps his arm around Jesse's shoulder, hugging him close.

  Jesse's silence allows him to continue. “Genji never wanted to be a part of this. Ever since the beginning, Genji tried to break off from the family, to be his own person. And my father despised him for it. At one point, my father talked to me about…about killing Genji.” Jesse goes tense. 

  “You kiddin’ me?” He asks quietly, surprised. Hanzo shakes his head. 

  “No. He thought I was just like him. That I would do anything for the sanctity of our family. In a sense, that's true. But not true enough that I'd kill my own brother.” He decides not to mention that he'd thought of it for just a second or two when his father had asked him; back then, as a young man, he'd been prepared to do anything he was asked. “So I told Genji. I told him what our father requested I do, and I told him he needed to shape up and stop acting out like he was or I'd have to do it.”

  Jesse slides his hand into Hanzo's, squeezing gently. “Obviously he did,” He murmurs, and Hanzo nods in confirmation, a bit surprised when Jesse holds his hand. He hasn't held someone's hand in…ever.

  “He did.” He rests his head against Jesse's, sighing quietly. Neither of them say anything for a moment before Jesse squeezes his hand again, sighing quietly. 

  “I'm guessin’ you want me to go, so…” He lets go of Hanzo's hand and gets out of bed, sighing again. Hanzo watches him, suddenly caught on his words. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing come out for a moment. Jesse pulls on his clothes, and he's about to grab his hat and leave when Hanzo shakes his head. 

  “Stay,” He manages to get out, and Jesse looks over, surprised and a bit confused. 

  “What?”

  “Stay, Jesse,” He repeats, his voice soft, his expression calm, betraying the longing he was starting to feel. Jesse stares at him for a moment before he sets his hat back down. He smiles slightly, walking back over to him. 

  “You're the boss.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh sorry no smut this time. I'll give y'all something good next chapter tho, hopefully that'll make up for it


	5. Chapter 5

  “Mhm. Yeah…That sounds fine, Jesse. Okay, I'll see you tonight,” Hanzo murmurs into his phone, smiling a bit. He hangs up after a hushed goodbye, sighing quietly as he slides his phone into his pocket as he and Genji keep walking down the sidewalk in the business district downtown after a meeting. He looks up to see his brother eyeing him suspiciously, an eyebrow raised. “What?” He asks, and Genji just shakes his head a bit.

  “Nothing, just…that look on your face is kind of scary,” He tells him, taking a sip of his coffee. Bewildered, Hanzo turns to look at his reflection in a store window. 

  “What look?” He asks, touching his face. Genji rolls his eyes, pulling Hanzo away from the window. 

  “Hanzo, you've been talking to and about Jesse for the past week and a half. Is something going on between you two? Something that's more…serious?” He asks, only a tad concerned for his brother. 

  Hanzo simply shakes his head. “No. We just, ah, talked a bit a little while ago, and,” He looks up in thought. “I suppose we got closer. That's all. There is no ‘something more’,” He assures him, smiling a bit. Genji doesn't look like he believes him, but he certainly doesn't say it. 

  “Alright, fine,” He says with a big sigh. “Regardless, it might be wise to cut down on the time you spend with him. I think it's starting to interfere with our work,” Genji mentions, looking at Hanzo. 

  Hanzo raises an eyebrow when he looks back at him. “No it's not.” Genji nods quickly. 

  “It is, though. You've missed meetings, Hanzo, and I've had to cover for you. Our connections aren't too happy you haven't showed up,” Genji tells him, frowning. “Look, I like Jesse. He's a great guy. But...maybe you're too focused on him."

  Hanzo laughs out loud, shaking his head. “You have no idea what you're talking about, Genji.” 

  Genji just sighs and shakes his head, deciding it would be best not to argue and piss his brother off. “Fine, fine. You're right. Do what you want, I'm sure they'll understand.” He runs a hand through his hair. This job was getting more and more frustrating, especially with Hanzo going off and letting himself lose focus on what was truly important. Genji didn't even want to do this; he never has, and even less when his father finally died. But there was no way out, and having to cover for Hanzo only made it that much more stressful. He wanted nothing more than to just… _ leave _ . But it wasn't possible, and he knew that. Even so, he felt bad for being so frustrated about Hanzo and Jesse. He knew Hanzo could use some good in his life, and he sometimes struggled to remember that. He kind of hated himself for it. 

  Hanzo sighs quietly, looking at his brother. “I won't miss anything else. You have my word,” He murmurs, and Genji nods a bit, not looking back at him.

  “Good.” He huffs, sipping his coffee again. “So, um…hey, that was a pretty domestic sounding phone call, you know,” He mentions, glancing up at Hanzo, who scowls. 

  “It was not domestic. I was simply telling him that I'd see him tonight,” He insists, looking away from his brother. “Nothing about us is domestic.” 

  Genji smirks. “Okay.” He doesn't believe him. He knows his brother, and he knows Hanzo isn't a big liar. Because of that, it was easy to tell when he was lying. Him being overly defensive was the biggest giveaway. Still, he doesn't tell him he knows he's lying. Hanzo will come to him when he's ready, and he knows that...He just doesn't expect that moment to literally come only a few minutes later. 

  “Genji, I-” He sighs, frustrated. “I can't…keep this up.” He looks at him. “You're right, Genji, you're right… I think I love him.” He says it quickly, not wanting to dwell on it longer than he had to. 

  The look of surprise is extremely visible on Genji's face, and Hanzo almost wants to laugh, but the shock of his own admittance stops him from doing so. Genji takes a deep breath. “Wow. I- I didn't think I'd ever hear you say that,” He says quietly, looking at him. “Why did you…” He shakes his head. “Why weren't you honest with me?” He asks. “I'm your brother. You can trust me with anything and you know that.”

  Hanzo takes a breath, looking away. “And you know that I'm just not good with this whole…feelings thing. I-It's hard saying this out loud because- because I've never felt this sort of thing before, and honestly?” He looks at his brother. “I'm really fucking terrified of it. I'm really, really scared of how much I-” He closes his eyes. “How much I care about him.” 

  Genji is quiet for a moment. “You don't need to be scared,” He says quietly. “You and I both know that Jesse is good. He's a good guy, and he's good for you. You might not see it, but like I said earlier, you've changed. You're distracted, yes, but…you're  _ happy.  _ And it's a relief to see, even if it does piss me off that you're so distracted, because I've seen you unhappy for so long.” He stops walking, pulling Hanzo to a stop, observing the worried look on Hanzo's face. Genji sighs, taking his hand. “Let yourself have this, Hanzo. Stop worrying and just… _ have him _ .”

  Hanzo closes his eyes, tossing this around in his mind for a moment or two. Then, he nods, looking at his brother. “Okay,” He whispers, and Genji smiles, squeezing his hand. 

  “Good.” He moves to pat his shoulder. “Let's go get lunch now, huh?”

  After lunch, the two part ways to get their own work done. Hanzo is more nervous for tonight than he was before. He's going to Jesse's for the first time--unbelievably, in all this time they've been seeing each other, Hanzo had never gone to Jesse's apartment. He was nervous about that, and now, to add onto it, he'd just come face to face with his feelings, feelings he didn't intend on admitting to him yet.

  Jesse gets the door before Hanzo is even finished knocking, as if he'd been waiting right by the door. Hanzo raises an eyebrow when Jesse tugs open the door, Hanzo's hand still in position to keep knocking. “Ah…hi, Jesse,” He says with a slight smile, relaxing almost completely just seeing Jesse there in front of him. Jesse rubs the back of his neck.

  “I was excited, sorry. Um, come on in,” He says, stepping back and gesturing for Hanzo to come inside. Hanzo does so, looking around. Huh. It's a lot neater than Hanzo thought it would be. He looks at him. 

  “It's a nice place. It suits you,” He tells him, and Jesse just smiles at him. The apartment had a warm energy to it. Inviting, friendly, everything a home should feel like. Something Hanzo hasn't felt in decades. It makes his heart flutter. This place was Jesse. It was home. He takes a breath and smiles at Jesse, who's just kind of watching Hanzo with a soft expression on his face. Hanzo manages a small smile. “So, dinner?”

 

* * *

 

 

  Hanzo pins Jesse down on the bed, straddling his hips as he kisses him hard, hands going right into Jesse's hair. Hanzo's worries from before had been shed completely after just a little while, and now, all he could focus on was the man beneath him, and making them both feel good.

  Jesse grunts a bit as he kisses him back, already working on getting his clothes off. By the time they're both finally naked, they've worked each other up enough to be completely ready to go, and Hanzo is itching to have Jesse inside him. Jesse bites his lip, watching as Hanzo settles himself in his lap, resting his hands on Jesse's chest. After a little nod from Jesse, Hanzo sinks down onto his cock, relishing the feel of being filled up just… _ perfect _ .

  He lets out a quiet little moan as he's seated completely on him, his body trembling just a bit. He leans over and presses a kiss to his lips before he starts riding him, moving himself slow, up and down, his lip between his teeth, his eyes closed. He just savors it for a moment or two before he opens his eyes, looking down at Jesse. He's got his sheets gripped in his hands, his face already a bit flushed. “Worked up?” He asks quietly, trying not to let out a little amused chuckle.

  Jesse smirks. “A little,” He admits, voice hardly above a murmur. “You just…look so pretty up there.” That makes Hanzo laugh a little, and Jesse can't help but smile at the warmth that blooms in his chest when he hears it. Goddamn, he was so whipped that even hearing Hanzo laugh made him fall for him more. Jesse was in deep. 

  Figuratively and literally. 

  Hanzo keeps it up for another moment or two before something catches his eye on Jesse's nightstand. In an instant, Hanzo's got an idea that'll drive Jesse crazy. He wanted to tease a little, now that he was feeling better. He pauses his movements. Jesse raises an eyebrow, hands resting at Hanzo's waist. “You okay?” He asks, slightly concerned. Hanzo nods, reaching over and picking up Jesse's hat, showing it to him. Jesse's eyes widen a little, knowing full well what Hanzo was about to do. “Hanzo, I swear to God, I won't be able to take it if you do what I think you're about to do,” He whispers, face going even more pink. Hanzo grins, setting Jesse's hat on his head tipping it a bit at him playfully. Jesse groans at the sight, accidentally giving a sharp thrust up into Hanzo, making the other man inhale sharply, followed by a quiet moan. God, what a sight.  _ His _ hat on Hanzo's head, tilting forward a bit as he rode him, his dark eyes barely visible behind the brim- It probably shouldn't be as hot as Jesse is finding it, but he can't fucking help it. “Hanzo,” He sighs, gripping Hanzo's hips, helping guide the other man on his cock, bringing him up, then down. 

  Hanzo lets out a breathy chuckle, grinning. “I- I've been thinking about this. You- oh God,” He closes his eyes, head falling back just a little as Jesse's cock hits that perfect spot inside of him, sending a shot of pleasure throughout his entire body, right down to his fingertips. Jesse takes Hanzo's hands, lacing their fingers together. 

  “C’mon, darlin’, faster,” He requests quietly, voice shaky. He was damn close thanks to this little stunt Hanzo pulled. He was only a little embarrassed. Hanzo nods slightly, squeezing Jesse's hands, using them as leverage to move himself faster, a little harder, taking him deeper. “Shit- Hanzo-” Jesse shuts his eyes tight, squeezing Hanzo's hands hard as he gives one final, sharp thrust up into him, making Hanzo cry out from the sharp burst of pleasure. That one little thing sends them both right over the edge, and Hanzo barely has time to lift himself off Jesse before he cums. They never let their hands go, both able to feel the shakiness of their bodies, each little tremble coming through. After a moment or two, after Jesse's caught his breath, he lets go of Hanzo's hands to bring one up to stroke Hanzo's cheek. “Swear to God, you're gonna kill me someday,” He whispers, tapping the underside of the brim of his hat, making it slip back off Hanzo's head a little. 

  Hanzo smirks, fixing it. “Unlikely,” He murmurs, leaning down and kissing him as best as he can with the hat in the way. “I figured you, ah, might like this,” He admits sheepishly, sitting up and taking the hat off his head, holding it in his hands. 

  Jesse takes a big breath, nodding. “Oh yeah, I liked it a lot,” He says through a bit of laughter, smiling up at him. Setting the hat aside, Hanzo brings a hand up to gently stroke Jesse's cheek. 

  “...it's nice, seeing you smile,” He admits quietly. “Even more when it's because of me.” He presses a kiss to that smile, lingering for a second or two. Jesse just looks at him when he pulls away

  “That's gotta be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me,” He murmurs. He smirks. “You're goin’ soft, Shimada,” He teases, nudging him. “What happen to that badass who used to kick me out right after we fucked, huh?” He asks, still teasing him.

  But Hanzo doesn't smile. He doesn't really say anything as he moves to sit beside Jesse. What  _ could  _ he say that wouldn't be admitting that he had feelings for Jesse? What could he say that…that wasn't proving Genji right? Jesse, and the way he felt about him, was clouding his mind, altering his behavior and his thoughts. Jesse was right- Hanzo  _ was  _ going soft, and that was the blatant opposite of what he needed to be. He didn't want to admit that being with Jesse had changed him. But it had, and he very well knew it too, but he was finding it pretty hard to care about all of those negative thoughts right now… Instead of responding right away, instead of letting it bother him right now, he kisses the top of Jesse's head. “I'm sure he's around somewhere,” He murmurs after a second or two, smiling slightly.

  Jesse chuckles and pulls him in for a deeper kiss, holding him close. It takes everything in his power not to tell Hanzo that he loved him. He knew that Hanzo wasn't about that, and that he'd end up royally fucking everything up by admitting it. That was the absolute last thing he wanted here. Instead, he says nothing. After a few more soft kisses, they get settled in for bed, both of them fighting a confession, both of them fighting for different reasons. 

 

* * *

 

 

  “I'm in love with him,” Jesse mutters as he paces his apartment, Angela sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in her hands. She's just watching him, amused. 

  “I know you are,” She murmurs, smiling. Jesse huffs. 

  “You don't get it. That ain't good at all, Ang,” He tells her in an exasperated tone, arms held out. “In fact, it's really Goddamn horrible!” 

  Raising an eyebrow, Angela looks at him. “Why is it that bad?” She asks. “From the way you tell it, he might love you back,” She observes, sounding confused. “I don't understand why you're fighting this.”

  “Listen,” He sits down beside her. “He's not the type of guy to just…talk about his feelings, or…just fall for someone in general. Even if he did, he'd never tell me. And-and I feel like…if I tell him, it'll scare him away,” He admits, his voice quiet, worry written all over his features. “I can't risk that, Angela,” He tells her, his voice cracking a bit. “He's the best fuckin’ thing to happen to me in years, even if he don't know it. I don't wanna lose that- I don't wanna lose  _ him _ .”

  A sympathetic look crossing her face, Angela pulls him into a hug. “Hey. Hey, you're thinking too much,” She whispers, gently rubbing his back. “You're not going to lose him, Jesse.” She leans back to look at him, and she's surprised to see the tears in his eyes. “Oh, Jesse…” She sighs, wiping his eyes. “If…if you don't want to tell him…then don't stress out about doing it. If the time is ever right for you, though…you should go for it."

  Jesse looks at her, sniffling a bit, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, you're right,” He whispers, nodding again. 

  She smiles a little, kissing his forehead. “Until then, don't worry so much. Okay?” Jesse nods a bit, hugging her again. God, she always knew just what to say. He already felt better, after getting it all out in the open. She was his rock, always had been. 

  For now, he just wants to enjoy every second he spends with Hanzo. Because he knew that one day, he might not have that. 

 

* * *

 

 

 Jesse idly plays with one of the silk ribbons Hanzo occasionally tied his hair up with as he sat at the foot of Hanzo's bed, letting the smooth fabric slip between his fingers. He looks up at Hanzo, who's sitting up against the headboard, looking at his laptop. Hanzo had work to do, and had told Jesse that they couldn't do anything until he finished, since it was kind of important. So Jesse was just kind of sitting there, waiting, trying not to get too bored. He'd sat and thought about all that happened recently. That stunt Hanzo pulled with his hat a few days ago drove him up a wall, and it was amusing to think of now… 

 Jesse smirks a bit when he gets a bright idea just like Hanzo's, staring at the ribbon in his hand. “So, uh…” He holds up the ribbon as Hanzo looks up at him. “You ever get tied up with this?” He asks, waving it a bit. Hanzo can't help but chuckle, amused. He just gives him a smug smile before going back to his laptop. Jesse frowns, narrowing his eyes. “What's that supposed to mean?”

  “If I gave you an answer you'd want to-” 

  Jesse snags Hanzo's laptop, closes it, sets it aside, then straddles Hanzo's hips, the ribbon still in his hands. “You have absolutely been tied up with this, haven't you?”

  Hanzo looks up at him, surprised at Jesse's swiftness. He grunts a bit and shifts under Jesse's weight. “Not that specific one,” He answers, his voice quiet and a tad bit shaky, the look on his face feigning innocence. 

  Jesse's eyebrows raise. “Is that so,” He murmurs, surprised. He bites his lip a bit, and Hanzo's heart beats a bit faster at the eager look in Jesse's eyes. Jesse gets up, standing up in front of Hanzo. “Come here,” He requests quietly, and Hanzo swallows hard before getting up and standing in front of Jesse, his work completely forgotten by now. Words and numbers no longer mattered. Emails and documents were lost, far in the back of Hanzo's mind. All he could think of now was Jesse, and…how he wanted to please him. Make him smile that beautiful fucking smile. 

  Jesse quietly tells him to take off his clothes, which he does with little hesitation. Jesse kisses his cheek before gesturing for him to turn around. When he does, Jesse picks up the silk scarf and artfully, carefully, expertly ties Hanzo's wrists together behind his back, making sure it's not too tight or too loose. Right now, Jesse was in control, and Hanzo knew it. And…he was a little embarrassed by how quickly he slipped into this role. Jesse gives a little tug to the binding before he lets Hanzo turn to face him again. Jesse seems only a little less confident now, preparing for his next request, which slightly concerns Hanzo. 

  “On your knees,” He says quietly after a moment, looking into Hanzo's eyes, watching as they go a bit wide, watching as his expression changes from one of compliance to one of surprise, to one of vague worry. He doesn't falter though, keeping his eyes on Hanzo, waiting patiently for him to obey. 

  Hanzo closes his eyes, thinking about what exactly he's about to do. 

  The thing was…He knelt for no man. He never had, and thought he never would; why would he put himself in such a vulnerable situation? He was a strong man, unwavering and tough, never submitting to anyone.

  And yet…

  Here he was, prepared to get on his knees and submit to a man who, in only a couple months, had nearly completely changed him. A man who had cracked and chipped away at the walls Hanzo had worked so hard to build up in his lifetime. A man who'd lit him up to every nerve ending, making him feel things he hadn't before. A man whose warmth made Hanzo feel safe, and loved, a man he was no longer afraid to open himself to and bare his soul to… A man who felt like home. Here he was, scared out of his mind because of how he was feeling right now. Scared that what he might be feeling is real and not some fever dream. 

  Slowly, he gets down on his knees, his head bowed down just a little, leaning into Jesse's touch when he runs his hand through his hair. 

  And so…here Hanzo sat with his body trembling, his breath sharp and shaky, face flushed hot, in front of Jesse McCree, the only man he's ever knelt for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: yeah I'm not ending it here. keep an eye out for the next chap  
> ALSO let me know what you thought of the chapter!! I love seeing your guys' comments :')


	6. Chapter 6

  Hanzo didn't often lie awake at night, thinking about his life, or his future. He didn't let anything bother him to the point where he  _ did _ lie awake and think, because he would rather forget about everything than lose a moment to thinking of something insignificant. 

  But Jesse wasn't very insignificant, was he? 

  Hanzo closes his eyes as he spoons Jesse, who was fast asleep in front of him. They'd had a bit of a long night, and Jesse was out the second they'd settled in for bed. Hanzo, though, couldn't seem to relax enough to catch the elusive sleep he very much wanted. He'd bared himself, heart and soul, to Jesse. He was a bit shaken up, and his mind was just racing. He couldn't believe he'd let himself do this, but…

  Jesse was worth it.

  He sighs quietly, then presses a soft kiss to the back of Jesse's neck, holding him close, savoring the feeling of Jesse's skin against his lips, something he wanted to remember for as long as he lived. He loved this man. He just…didn't know how to say it. He didn't know how Jesse would react, he didn't know how badly this could go over.

  His lips linger on Jesse's skin for just a moment too long, because Jesse suddenly shifts a bit, humming quietly. “Hanzo?” He whispers, turning over to face him. “What are you still doin’ up?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper as he tries to look at Hanzo in the dark. Hanzo tries to avoid eye contact by looking away, but Jesse's hand comes up to turn Hanzo's face to him. “What's goin’ on?” Hanzo doesn't say anything for a moment, and he closes his eyes, afraid to speak. Jesse gently brushes Hanzo's hair behind his ear, stroking his cheek with his thumb. “Talk to me.”

  “It's late, Jesse,” Hanzo murmurs, shaking his head slightly. “Why don't we just go back to sleep?” Jesse chuckles. 

  “You weren't asleep in the first place. And I got nowhere to be tomorrow, so I'll stay up as long as I need to to get you to talk. Somethin’ is botherin’ you.” He moves closer, then scoots down so his head is rested against Hanzo's chest. Hanzo sighs and wraps his arms around Jesse, gently stroking his hair. 

  Just say it, Hanzo. Just say it. Three simple, easy words that people said all the time. Three simple, easy words that Hanzo struggled to even say to  _ Genji _ . He swallows nervously, his hand pausing on the back of Jesse's head. God, the words were stuck to the back of his throat, he couldn't get them out. Jesse doesn't push, though. Hanzo hopes for a moment that he’s just gone back to sleep, but when Jesse tells him to take his time, he knows he's fucked. After another moment or two of psyching himself up to speak, the words finally tumble out, his mouth forming the words he hadn't said in decades. 

  “I love you,” He whispers, hardly audible. 

  Jesse can hear how fast Hanzo's heart is beating, and when he hears those words, his own heart skips a beat. He leans away to look at him. Hanzo has his eyes closed, as if he's afraid of looking at Jesse. Jesse just moves up to rest a hand on Hanzo's cheek. “...I love you too,” He whispers back, feeling a like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He'd been holding on to that for a while, and to finally say it, and to finally  _ hear _ it, felt so Goddamn amazing. “I really fuckin’ do, Hanzo.” 

  Hanzo opens his eyes to look at him, feeling his heart swell. Moonlight that was pouring into the room, hitting Jesse's face just right, illuminating him a way Hanzo hadn't noticed before; how had he not noticed? This was…all so new…He leans in and kisses Jesse softly, not knowing what else to say to him. 

  In fact, they don't say anything for the rest of the night. They just go to sleep, holding each other close. 

 

* * *

 

 

  Hanzo leans against the kitchen counter with a mug of coffee in his hands. Jesse was still asleep, as expected, but that was fine. Hanzo enjoyed the quiet of the early morning. He sips his coffee before he sits down on the couch, picking up the laptop he'd brought out when he woke up. He knew it was too early to work, but the previous night’s distractions cost him valuable work time. He opens it up, getting back to what he was doing last night. 

  It's very quiet. So quiet that Hanzo doesn't really hear it when Jesse walks out of his room. He only notices he's awake when he hears Jesse start pouring himself a cup of coffee. He turns around to look at him. “Good morning,” He murmurs, and Jesse glances over his shoulder at him.

  “Mornin’,” He responds, setting the coffee pot down and taking a seat next to Hanzo. “Work already?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. Hanzo nods.

  “Mhm,” He looks at his laptop. “I didn't finish it last night, so…” He gets back to work, and Jesse doesn't speak to him for a moment or two before he silently and gently closes Hanzo's laptop. 

  “We need to talk,” He says quietly, and Hanzo doesn't fight back, letting Jesse move his laptop away from him.

  Hanzo nods. “I suppose we should,” He agrees, looking at him. He takes a breath. “I meant what I said last night,” He tells him, no longer feeling as nervous about it now that he's already said it. His worry right now was that Jesse  _ didn't  _ mean it when he said it back. He could've been caught up in his tiredness, and had no idea what he was saying. He could've said it just to appease Hanzo, so it wouldn't be awkward. He could've been not awake enough to even remember talking to Hanzo. He simply could've been lying about it.

  Jesse smirks at him. “Said what?” He asks, and Hanzo blinks. Well, shit. 

  “I-” He looks confused, but one of his suspicions was right. He didn't remember. “When I said that I loved you,” He murmurs, even though he's certain he's in for a bit of hurt here. He could be confessing for the first time  _ again,  _ and he'd have to face Jesse's reaction  _ again _ . 

  But Jesse just grins a big grin, his face lighting up. “God damnit Hanzo, I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearin’ that,” He whispers, giving him a quick kiss. Hanzo narrows his eyes. 

  “Wait…you just wanted me to say it again, didn't you?” He asks, and Jesse shrugs, still grinning. 

  “You caught me, darlin’,” He says, chuckling. “The second you said that last night, I swear I died and went to heaven,” He murmurs, his smile softening. “Hanzo…I love you. I really do. I've been debatin’ on tellin’ you for a while now…” He rubs the back of his neck. 

  Hanzo smiles slightly. “So have I,” He admits quietly. “Even though I tried to tell myself I didn't feel this way. I struggle a lot with feelings and emotions, honestly, so…I wasn't sure how to handle this at first.” He looks at him. “I'm sorry for that. I know I may have come off as cold, rude.”

  Jesse shakes his head, smiling. “Don't be sorry, darlin’.” He gently takes Hanzo's hand. “We’re good.” He squeezes his hand, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Now here's the big question- what are we?”

  Hanzo looks at him, quiet. “...I don't know. What… What should we be?” He asks, looking down at their hands. “Would it be silly, or immature, to say that we're,” He chuckles and looks back up at him. “ _ Boyfriends _ ?” He asks, and Jesse smirks, shaking his head.

  “Nah, I don't think so,” He murmurs, leaning over to kiss him, letting his lips linger. “Boyfriends it is, darlin’,” He whispers, smiling against his lips.Hanzo just kisses him back, amused. Boyfriends. 

  Huh.

 

* * *

 

 

  Genji gently knocks on Hanzo's front door, recent invoices and other documents concerning money in his hands. They had a lot of business to go over, checks to cut, cash to hand out, bills to keep track of, et cetera. It was going to be a busy day, and Genji did  _ not  _ want to do all this business shit, let alone by himself. He hated this enough as it was. 

  When there's no response after a moment, he knocks again with a little more impatience, huffing. When there's still no answer, Genji starts getting both worried and pissed off. He's about to knock again when Jesse pulls open the d- wait- “Jesse, what the hell are you doing here?” He asks, confused. Jesse looked a bit flushed, a bit out of breath. “Where's Hanzo?” He asks, peeking his head inside. 

  Jesse clears his throat, stepping aside a bit to let Genji inside. “We just woke up,” He tells him, his voice a little rough. “He told me to get the door. What's up?” He asks, watching as Genji tosses the various folders he held onto Hanzo's table. 

  “Hanzo and I had business to attend to today,” He explains. “So I'd appreciate if you went and got him.” Jesse nods slightly and turns, walking back into Hanzo's room. 

  After a few minutes, Hanzo comes out fully dressed, his hair tied up, looking ready to work. Jesse, who also got dressed, grabs his keys off Hanzo's counter, kisses Hanzo's cheek, then hurries out to let the men work. Hanzo smiles fondly as he watches Jesse go before turning to look at Hanzo. “Good morning, Genji,” He says with a little smile. Genji smirks.

  “It's almost one in the afternoon, Hanzo,” He says quietly before sitting down at the table. “Long night?” He asks, watching as Hanzo sits across from him. Hanzo sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. 

  “Mhm,” He hums quietly, leaning against the table, eyeing the folders laid out before him. “We just talked all night. Yesterday was…” He takes a deep breath. “Really emotional.” He picks up a folder to start inspecting its contents, but Genji takes it back from him, shaking his head and setting it back down. 

  “Hold on. What happened?” He asks, looking a bit serious. Hanzo looks at him, smiling just a little.

  “Jesse and I…are together,” He explains quietly, and Genji gasps. 

  “Are you serious?” He asks, eyes wide. “You- you're officially together?” He asks for further clarification, and Hanzo nods 

  He rests his head in his hand. “We are, yes,” He affirms. Genji clearly looks like he can't believe it, but after a moment or two, the disbelief fades from his face, being replaced with a smile. 

  “I never thought I would see the day where you decide to settle down with someone,” He says quietly. “I know this may seem ridiculous, brother, but…I'm happy you've changed. You may not have said it, or shown it, but I knew you were unhappy. With everything.”

  Hanzo doesn't stop him from speaking, simply staring at him, listening. 

  “Jesse is good for you. More good than you can admit.” He reaches over and takes his brother's hand. “Don't let him go, okay?” He requests quietly. He gently runs his thumb over Hanzo's knuckles. “...mom would be happy.”

  Hanzo can't help but smile at that. “She would. I know she hated that I was so serious and stiff,” He murmurs, looking back fondly at memories of their mother. “She was so worried that I wouldn't be able to find someone because of it.” And for years upon years, she was right. Hanzo just…hadn't found anyone. And then Jesse came along. 

  Genji smiles fondly. “But you did. You did, and he's great.” He squeezes Hanzo's hand before letting it go. Even though it's certainly not what he expected when Hanzo said he had a long night, he's still happy he trusted him enough o open up to him about this. It was a relief. “So,” He takes a deep breath. “Why don't we get to work now, hm?” Hanzo nods, smiling at his brother. He was relieved this was all going so well. He feels like it's only going to go up from here. 

  For once in his life, he actually has a reason to get up each day. He just had no idea that reason would be a man in a cowboy hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one's short. BUT I intend on having some fun/comedic/sexy relief in the next chapter so ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ya know  
> also, it might be kinda angsty too, bc I'm like. the queen of making things angsty when I don't meant to  
> anyways, I hope u enjoyed this chapter and them finally confessing :')


	7. Chapter 7

  Hanzo holds up the envelope for Jesse to see, a sly grin on his face. “Do you know what this is, Jesse?” He asks quietly, waving the envelope a bit. Jesse raises an eyebrow, taking it from him, then turning it over in his hand. 

  His eyes widen when they land on the wax seal keeping it closed. “Holy shit, is this-” He leans in close to inspect the insignia in the wax. “This is the LaCroix seal, Hanzo,” He whispers, looking up at Hanzo.

  Hanzo nods quickly. “Yes, it is.” The LaCroix’s were the bougiest family in the entire city, and every year they held a masquerade party for anyone they deemed high class or powerful enough to attend. The Shimada Brothers were invited every year, but only recently did it peak Hanzo's interest enough to go. 

  Mostly, he just wanted to show Jesse the high life. 

  Jesse opens the envelope, taking out the invitation, reading what's written on it. “You're invited to the…” His voice trails off, and once he's finished reading, he looks up at Hanzo again. “You're invited to that costume party they hold every year. Hanzo, that's-” 

  Hanzo crosses his arms, nodding. “Mhm. Well, I'm invited every year, I just never go. Those sorts of things don't interest me. Genji goes, of course, but…” He shakes his head. “Anyways, I want to take you. Be my plus-one.”

  Jesse laughs. “You didn't even have to ask!” He exclaims, looking back down at the invitation. “Shit…this is awesome, Han,” He whispers.” I knew you were all high and mighty, I just didn't know you were high and mighty enough to hang with the LaCroix’s,” He murmurs, chuckling. Hanzo smiles and takes the invitation. 

  “We do a bit of business occasionally, and in return we get to go. And, it's masquerade, not costume, so I expect you to look presentable when I come to pick you up for this. I definitely don't want us to get kicked out from this for not following dress code,” Hanzo warns quietly as he taps the card on Jesse's head, trying to put a playful edge to his tone. 

  Jesse chuckles a bit, taking it from him and tossing it on the counter. Then, he pauses. He looks at Hanzo. “...you really wanna go to this with me?” He asks quietly, looking nervous all of the sudden. Jesse wouldn't vocalize his worries, but ever since he and Hanzo made it official a couple weeks ago, they hadn't exactly gone out or done anything together; they hadn't before they got together either, but it didn't bother Jesse as much because, of course, they weren't together and Hanzo held no real obligations. It bothered Jesse  _ now _ , but he wasn't about to bring it up and push Hanzo away by asking him to do something he might not be comfortable with yet. It blossomed a bit of doubt in Jesse; What if Hanzo was embarrassed of him? What if that was why Hanzo never agreed to go out? What if Hanzo just wanted to be on the down low? 

  Hanzo looks surprised when Jesse asks this, then he looks confused. “Of course I do,” He says quietly, smiling a little as he tries to ease Jesse's worry. “Why would you ask that?”

  Jesse shrugs, crossing his arms as he leans back against the counter. “We just…you know, haven't gone out anywhere together. No dates or anythin’ like that.” He looks down. “Kinda feels like you don't wanna be seen with me or somethin’, Hanzo, and it's startin’ to hurt my feelin’s a little.” 

  Ah, damn. 

  Hanzo sighs, gently taking Jesse's hand. “Listen to me. That isn't because of you. I promise. It's…mostly that I'm worried about your safety, Jesse. My line of work puts me in a very dangerous situation by default if I cross the wrong people. And if I did that... They could hurt you to get to me if they wanted to. The last thing I want is for them to find out I'm with someone.” He steps close, cupping Jesse's face, trying to make him feel less bad about the situation. “The last thing I want is for you to get hurt because of me. That's why I've been nervous about this. Not because of you.”

  Jesse looks at him, resting his hand on top of one of Hanzo's, then taking it and squeezing it. “Okay,” He whispers. He understood where Hanzo was coming from a bit better now; He knew Hanzo was in a gang, he just didn't know exactly how dangerous it could be. Now that he knows about all this, he's a little on edge, but he doesn't doubt that Hanzo knows what he's doing. 

  “You see,” Hanzo murmurs, smiling a bit. “We’ll all be wearing masks. They won't know your face. They won't know who you are. It's safe.” 

  Jesse nods slightly. “Yeah, I get it.” It did make sense. If they didn't know who Jesse was, how could they use him against Hanzo? 

  Hanzo presses a kiss to his lips, still trying to make him feel better. “I love you.” 

  Jesse's heart swells as he kisses Hanzo back; he'd never get tired of hearing that from Hanzo, and the reassurance made him feel better. “I love you too.” 

 

* * *

 

 

  Hanzo has seen how Jesse cleans up before, but tonight, he finds out that he never knew Jesse could be  _ this _ stunning. A dark gray suit, blue tie, his hair slicked back, his beard trimmed neatly… Good God he was gorgeous. Hanzo himself was in his best black slacks and a matching vest, a color-blocked dress shirt underneath, his hair tied up in the very same ribbon that was tied around his wrists a while ago. When Jesse notices, he smirks. 

  “Asshole,” He says as he heads out to greet Hanzo, who's waiting for him at the curb, leaned up against his car. “You  _ had  _ to wear that one?” He asks, and Hanzo innocently plays with it a bit. 

  “It matches my outfit,” He says simply, smiling a little. He gives Jesse another quick once over. “You look amazing tonight, Jesse,” He whispers, his smile going a bit soft, his eyes full of adoration. Jesse can't help but grin as he gives Hanzo a swift kiss. 

  “Could say the same about you, darlin’,” He murmurs, giving a gentle tug to the ribbon, making Hanzo chuckle and swat his hand away. 

  “Hush. Let's get going, I don't want to be late like I  _ know _ my brother is going to be.”

  Upon arrival, servants hand out masks to each guest after verifying their invitations. They're surprisingly comfortable to Jesse, not obstructing view and resting comfortably on his face. With Jesse on his arm, Hanzo walks inside, taking a look around the glittering chateau. Really, Gerard and Amélie definitely had something to be proud of here. They're nearing the ballroom when someone tugs Hanzo to a halt. He's about to get angry when he sees who it is, no mask on her face.

  “Amélie, good evening,” He says with a little smile, bowing a bit. The woman Jesse only knows from the tabloids and the news as Amélie LaCroix just smiles back at Hanzo, leaning in a bit so she won't be heard by anyone else. 

  “I would know you anywhere, Monsieur Shimada, mask or not,” She whispers, crossing her arms. “It's surprising to see you've finally showed up, and…” She looks Jesse over.” With a beau on your arm.” Her tone is amused, and Hanzo chuckles a bit. 

  “Yes, I...decided to come this year. I wanted to bring my boyfriend, he's never been to this sort of thing before,” Hanzo explains, and Amélie raises an eyebrow. 

  “He hasn't?” She asks, looking at Jesse again, inspecting him. Jesse gives her a nervous little wave, and she smiles. “Well, I hope you two enjoy your evening,” She murmurs, her voice a bit quiet, accent giving her words a soft, seductive lilt. She then bows out to greet her other guests.

  Hanzo takes a breath and continues to lead Jesse to the ballroom. Jesse can't help but smile. “She seems a lot nicer than I thought she'd be,” He muses, and Hanzo chuckles.

  “She's a kind woman under her resting bitch face,” He tells him as he swipes a couple glasses of champagne from a passing waiter. He hands one to Jesse, who's laughing. 

  “Wow,” He says through his laughter. “Well that's nice to know,” He says as he sips from the glass. Champagne wasn't exactly his drink of choice, but it'd do for tonight. 

  Genji eventually saunters up to them after finding them amongst the other guests. “Hey, you actually came!” He says excitedly, throwing an arm around Hanzo's shoulders. Hanzo smiles a bit, nodding. 

  “Yes, I did.” He eyes his brother. “So, who's on the agenda for this year, hm?” He asks quietly, sipping his champagne. Jesse raises an eyebrow, a bit confused. He doesn't say anything, though, just watching the brothers interact. 

  Genji hums quietly, looking around the room. “Well…you know, a certain  _ someone _ is attending the ball tonight for the first time, just like you. Highly decorated military heroes get invited to this sort of thing, you see.” He waves his hand a bit. “So I'm going to thank Amélie for inviting her, and then...we’ll see.” He pats Hanzo's shoulder before stepping away, shooting a wink and a grin at Jesse, then walking away to find Amélie. 

  Jesse chuckles, confused. “What was that about?” He asks, and Hanzo rolls his eyes.

  “It's a fucked up tradition of his. Every year he finds someone new to take home.” He sips from his glass again. “But if he's going for who I  _ know  _ he's going to, then it won't be so easy to ignore her texts the next day.” He smiles smugly. “This is going to backfire.”

  “Ooh, dish, who is it?” Jesse asks, grinning. “Someone I know?” Hanzo thinks, then nods slightly.

  “Yes, you've met her before. She's Genji's best friend, and he's liked her for a very long time now. Honestly, I doubt she'll sleep with him. If she hasn't after all this time, why would she now?” He shakes his head. “He's such a prick.” 

  Jesse laughs. “Damn, that's funny. Mm, we’ll have to ask him how it went tomorrow.” He nudges Hanzo, who nods in agreement. That would definitely be an interesting conversation to have.

  After their little talk goes quiet, Jesse takes the opportunity to take a look around. He's amazed at the bright golden lights and the soft creme color of the walls and the atrium-like ceiling above them. The room had such a warm glow to it; it felt very extravagant and regal, fitting for a wealthy family. Surrounded by people of similar caliber, Jesse felt out of place, even if he was dressed just like them. Hanzo fit here much better than he did. He clears his throat a bit as he downs the nearly full glass of champagne he was still holding, casually grabbing another as a waiter passes by. 

  Hanzo eyes him. “You look tense,” He murmurs, looking Jesse up and down, reading his body language. 

  Jesse glances at him. “Don't quite fit in here, Hanzo,” He murmurs. “I feel like they can tell I'm not one of ‘em,” He whispers. “Like I'm an intruder in their fancy ass lifestyle.” 

  Hanzo doesn't really mean to, but he laughs. “Jesse, it's fine.” He strokes Jesse's cheek with his free hand. “I promise. Just enjoy the night, that's why we’re here.” He kisses him quickly, then gently runs his thumb over his lips, making Jesse shiver a bit. 

  He nods slightly, deciding to take Hanzo's word for it. He relaxes after his second glass of champagne, enough to let Hanzo pull him to the dance floor and dance with him. Jesse has never done any sort of ballroom dancing, and he's surprised to see that Hanzo actually knows very well what he's doing. Jeez, he learned something new about Hanzo all the damn time. At one point, Hanzo pulls him flush, grinning at him as the proximity causes a little bit of friction between them. Jesse can't help but let out a wistful sigh. “Don't get me worked up now,” He whispers, and Hanzo kisses him languidly, not moving away from him, completely ignoring the fact there's other people around them. 

  “I want to, ah,” He chuckles, getting a bit caught on his words, a tinge of embarrassment in his tone. “I'm sure there's somewhere a bit more private around here,” He whispers against Jesse's lips, and Jesse laughs. 

  “God, this is the second time you've wanted somethin’ like this in public. You really do got a thing for it, huh?” Jesse asks, completely amused. Hanzo smirks. 

  “I guess so,” He murmurs, finally pulling himself away from Jesse. He takes his hand and starts leading him away from the dance floor, looking around a bit. His eyes land on a darkened hallway in a corner of the ballroom, tucked away from view. He guesses it's a service hallway, and it'll definitely do. Once they're out of sight and in the hallway, Hanzo pushes Jesse against the wall, kissing him hard. 

  Jesse kisses him right back, just as heated and fervent. Hanzo doesn't even have to say anything as he gets his belt undone; Jesse just drops to his knees, taking Hanzo's cock in his hand, then in his mouth, working Hanzo up quicker than Hanzo would've liked. He guesses it's the thrill of being somewhere they could get caught, at such a high class and high profile event. Maybe it's the thought of the slightly faux anonymity the masks provided…maybe he just really fucking wanted to fuck Jesse. Regardless of what it is, Hanzo grips Jesse's hair and pulls him off, shivering at the sight of Jesse on his knees in front of him, face flushed, lips still parted, his breathing a bit heavier. Goddamn.

  “Up, against the wall,” He whispers, and Jesse nods slightly, standing up and facing the wall, the tugging pants down without hesitation. He presses himself against the wall, glancing over at Hanzo, who rests one hand on Jesse's hip. “This might be a bit rough,” He murmurs as he spits into his hand, getting himself as slick as he can. Jesse grins smugly. 

  “I can take it,” He teases, and Hanzo smirks, nodding slightly, moving his hand up to Jesse's shoulder. With his other hand, he guides his cock to Jesse's opening, then pushes right in, making Jesse hiss and close his eyes, a bit pained--but it's nothing he can't take. They've gotten a bit frantic like this before, so it's not new. “Oh fuck,” He whispers, breathing already shaky. “God, Hanzo-” Hanzo squeezes his shoulder reassuringly before he starts moving at a steady pace, biting his lip, savoring the feeling of Jesse around him, the gasps that were coming from Jesse, along with the moans he was trying his best to stifle by covering his mouth with his hand. Jesse couldn't believe how turned on he was from this, each thrust just riling him up even more. His fist gently hits the wall as Hanzo gives a particularly hard thrust right against that good spot inside of him. “Fuckin’ hell,” He groans, glancing over at Hanzo again. “Gonna cum on this wall if you keep that up,” He says with a small, teasing smile as Hanzo just keeps it up. 

  Hanzo casually tugs the handkerchief from his breast pocket, handing it to Jesse, who can't help but laugh. “Use it,” Hanzo whispers with a grin. “Better than having to- fuck-” He winces a bit, his hips stuttering a bit. Shit, he was close. “-to wipe it off the wall,” He says, laughter bubbling up from his chest. God, what were they doing? Jesse laughs along with him, taking the fabric from him. 

  “Okay,” He whispers, biting his lip a bit, closing his eyes as Hanzo starts moving again, this time aiming for his orgasm. Jesse shudders, his knees going a bit weak when the warmth floods his body, orgasm washing over him. “Oh my God, Hanzo,” He groans as he rides it out for a moment or two, eyes shut tight as he finally settles down a bit. Hanzo lets out a shuddering gasp. 

  “J-Jesse, back on your knees,” He requests quietly, and Jesse manages a slight nod as Hanzo pulls out. He stumbles a bit, but he's back on his knees in just a second. Hanzo smiles slightly as he tugs Jesse's mask back away from his face, giving him ample room to spill himself on him. Jesse shivers as Hanzo does so, not minding at all; hearing Hanzo moan his name like that was  _ so _ worth it. Hanzo backs himself up against the opposite wall, catching his breath. Jesse carefully gets to his feet, pulling up his pants, then wiping his face. 

  “Good aim,” He whispers. “You didn't even get it in my hair,” He teases, smirking at him. Hanzo lets out a breathy laugh as he gets his pants up and his belt buckled. 

  “I've had some practice,” He murmurs playfully, and Jesse rolls his eyes, chuckling. 

  “Yeah, yeah.” He nudges him a bit before pulling his mask back down. He hands the handkerchief to Hanzo, who stares at it before casually placing it on a nearby empty service cart.

  “I'm sure they won't notice,” He whispers, and Jesse can barely hold in his laughter.

  “You're fuckin’ gross,” He whispers, grinning. 

  Hanzo gives him a big shrug. 

  “I certainly don't want that in my pocket anymore,” He explains, trying not to smile. Jesse rolls his eyes again as they walk back into the ballroom.

  “Alright, that's fair. I wouldn't either.” They make their way back into the ballroom, then to their assigned table, where dinner is waiting. The rest of the guests have been seated for a little while by now, but no one seemed to notice the two of them missing. Jesse rubs his hands together, smiling as he and Hanzo sit down. “Sex  _ and  _ a big, fancy meal? Hanzo, I'm gettin’ spoiled here.”

  Hanzo gently smacks his arm. “I see I've made a mistake by bringing you to this. I won't be able to meet your lavish demands,” He whispers, and Jesse waves his fork at him. 

  “I'm sure you'll find a way,” He teases, and Hanzo laughs, shaking his head.

  “Eat your dinner,” He murmurs with a small smile, gesturing to Jesse's plate. God, he loved this man. His chest was light and warm, and not just because he'd just had an orgasm. What he felt for this man simply surpassed love. If he was being honest, he'd lay down his life for him. He'd do anything to protect him, really. And as Hanzo watches Jesse eat and talk and smile like there couldn't possibly be anything wrong in the world, he gets caught up in hs thoughts. 

  He'd…he'd die for him. And to realize this was painful, mostly because he was worried he'd have to some day. He knew that Jesse being in love with him, and him being in love with Jesse in return, was downright dangerous for both of them. Jesse's life, at any moment, could be in jeopardy because of him. He hadn't said anything to Jesse before, but tensions were starting to rise between the rival gangs all over the city… mostly because the Shimadas were taking business, expanding their territory, carrying out hits they shouldn't… and it was Hanzo's fault. Genji had been looking over and approving things in Hanzo's stead simply because Hanzo wasn't around to make decisions like he had been before. And Genji…wasn't the best at making important decisions. Jesse was pulling his attention from work, and he knew it too. His playful mood from earlier was quickly dissipating the more he thought about it. But, maybe he was overreacting about everything. Maybe he was being too overprotective. That had to be it, right? He was just worrying too much. 

  He tries to keep a smile up for Jesse, who's in a really good mood, clearly very happy from the night's events. He was practically glowing, and it made Hanzo's heart swell with happiness, making his worry go away the longer he looked at that smile… but someone taps his shoulder, making him turn around. Jesse raises an eyebrow, confused. “Who's that?” 

  The man beside Hanzo, a man Hanzo recognizes as the leader of the gang who ran the southern side of the city, even behind that mask, doesn't say anything. His eyes were icy blue; Cold, hard, unforgiving… there's was no mistaking that this was him. South pulls his coat back ever so slightly, making it look like he's adjusting his coat. With that, Hanzo sees just a bit of a handle of a pistol, and his heart drops right to the floor, his blood going a bit cold. That little flash was definitely meant just for Hanzo to see. Jesse doesn't catch wise at all. South smiles casually. “I swear I know you from somewhere--Were you at the ball last year? Why don't we grab a drink and talk?” He asks, that smile able to convince anyone he was being genuine.

  Jesse frowns a bit. This guy had to be mistaken. “He actually-” 

  Hanzo holds up a hand, looking at Jesse, a soft warning in his eyes. It takes a second for Jesse to register the warning, but when he does, he pretends like he doesn't see anything, his heart skipping a nervous beat. “It'll just be a minute,” Hanzo tells him with a small smile. He stands up, swallowing nervously. Jesse almost reaches out for him, but he doesn't want to risk the chance of making this situation go sour. Hanzo gives Jesse's hand a quick squeeze, then nods at South, following him as they walk away, acting like nothing is wrong, like they're old friends or something. But inside, he was scared. Terrified, even. A whole list of things this could be about were flitting through his mind, making his head swim. This wasn't good.

  This wasn't good at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew!!!! wow!!!!! something a little silly and fun...... and then drama and angst!!!!!!!!  
> i feel like this chapter sucked but like. here you go anyways  
> gettin a lil nitty gritty here now
> 
> also I couldn't think of a name for the other leader so. he's just named after his part of the city bye


	8. Chapter 8

  “What is this about?” Hanzo asks, crossing his arms, trying to exude the confidence and nonchalance he used to have. No, he couldn't falter now. He had to keep his composure. Jesse was, luckily, still in his line of sight, which helped him relax a little. But still, this situation was absolutely shit. 

  South sighs, hands on his hips. “You see, Shimada, you have been stirring up quite the fucking storm lately. What are you trying to do? Run us out of the city? Take us over?” He gets close, right up in his face. “Make us your bitch?”

  Hanzo closes his eyes, shaking his head slightly. “No. Listen, I've been doing my best to keep the peace between all of us-”

  “Oh, don't give me that bullshit,” South sneers. “You think I haven't noticed you assholes stealing our connections? Getting into our territory?  _ Killing our people _ ? I'm not an idiot, Shimada, I'm not blind.”

  Hanzo takes a breath. “I don't know what you think, but it's not us,” He says calmly, looking at South and holding up his hands a bit. South laughs, stepping back.

  “That's rich. Look, man, I've noticed you stopped showing up to meetings. You've stopped returning messages yourself. You've been pretty absent, making your brother do everything for you, so that makes me think you're planning something on your own.” He leans a bit closer again, and Hanzo frowns, but he doesn't back down. “And that doesn't sit well with me  _ at all _ .” South leans away. When Hanzo doesn't respond right away, South nods his head towards Jesse, who's started talking to Genji, trying to keep calm. He didn't know what was going on, but it was clear he shouldn't raise any suspicion or anything, and keep it casual and calm. 

  “Leave him out of this,” Hanzo warns quietly before South can even ask about him. “Don't even think about bringing him into this.”

  A grin slowly comes to South’s lips. “Oh…he’s someone important to you then? Let me guess--boyfriend? Husband? What, am I close?”

  Hanzo's hands ball into fists. “I won't say it again. Leave him out of this. He has  _ nothing  _ to do with any of this.” Husband. Ha. What an assumption. 

  South sighs heavily, feigning disappointment. “You see, Hanzo, I  _ would've  _ been able to do that if you hadn't fucked us over.” He holds his hands out at his sides and smiles. “This is only a warning, though, so ah, keep all this is mind. I don't want to have to get in the way of your little puppy love.” He waves his hand absentmindedly. “Don't make me have to come find you again, because I won't hesitate to do so. If I find out one more of my people dies by the hand of yours…” He sighs. “Like I said, I warned you.”

  Hanzo is starting to shake with anger, and he can't think of anything to say that wouldn't fuck him over any more. Instead, he keeps his mouth shut. 

  South just grins again. “Alright, I'm glad we're on the same page now.” He pats Hanzo's shoulder. “Enjoy the rest of your night. And hey, don't go fucking in random hallways anymore. It's not becoming of a gentleman.” He clicks his tongue at him with a smirk, winks, then walks away. 

  Hanzo watches him, furious, worried, and scared. All of it was stirring in his chest, his head, and it was honestly making him sick. He takes a moment to calm himself down before walking back over to the table, sitting down. Jesse immediately leans close. “Hanzo, what the hell was that about?” He demands, and Hanzo shakes his head. 

  He forces a smile. “Don't worry about it, it was nothing,” He tells him, and Genji crosses his arms, frowning. He knew full well who that was, and he knew what they were talking about. Something has been fucked up between them. 

  “Hanzo, are you sure it was nothing?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo nods quickly. He's incredibly frustrated, scared, and very angry. He's not quite sure he's thinking a hundred percent straight. He plays it off as if he is, though. 

  “Of course I am,” He assures him, trying to smile. But they looks the two other men are giving him show only disbelief. Hanzo swallows nervously. “Fine. I…I don't think we should talk about it here. Genji, I want you to stay with Jesse and I tonight, understand?” His voice was firm, and it worried Genji a bit. 

  “Why?” He asks, and Jesse looks at Hanzo, silently asking the same question. 

  “Just listen to me. Come on, we’re leaving,” He gestures for the two of them to stand, and they silently obey them. Without speaking to anyone else, they all head back to Hanzo's. 

  After changing into more relaxed clothes, Hanzo sits them down in the living room, folding his hands as he sits in front of Genji and Jesse. He looks at Genji first. “I know you know who I was speaking with,” He says quietly, and Genji nods slightly.

  “I do know, and I want to know  _ why _ you were speaking with him,” Genji demands. Jesse eyes Hanzo warily, crossing his arms. 

  “Don't think I liked the way he was lookin’ at you, Hanzo,” He says quietly, a frown coming to his lips. “Or the way you looked at him. Somethin’ goin’ on I should know about?” Hanzo immediately shakes his head. 

  “It's--No, it's not what you might be thinking.” He says quietly, holding up his hands a bit. Genji looks at Jesse and speaks before Hanzo can continue. 

  “That was South. He runs the southern part of the city, he's a pretty powerful guy, and…Hanzo must've done something to piss him off,” He murmurs, turning to glare at his brother. Jesse relaxes a bit, but then tenses up all over again after it clicks that South is a rival gang leader. 

  Hanzo heaves a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. “Stop, Genji,” He mutters. “Listen to me, something has gone wrong between us. He told me tonight that the Shimadas have been doing some rather…threatening things.” He looks specifically at Genji, who raises an eyebrow. 

  “What did I do?” He asks.

  Hanzo laughs, sounding worried and unsettled. “Ah…It's my fault.” Jesse and Genji just kind of look at him. 

  “What did  _ you  _ do then?” Jesse asks, his voice quiet. 

  Hanzo rubs his hands together nervously. “I haven't been there like I should be lately. I've been distracted, my time has been too divided. Because of this, Genji has had to take my place and make decisions on my behalf. He's making all the wrong ones, of course, but-”

  “Hey! You were born first for a reason, I suck at this shit!” He raises his voice, trying to defend himself. “I have no idea what to say when someone comes to me for an answer. I don't know what to do in the God damn meetings. I'm not the leader. I can't do it. But I got stuck with it anyways.”

  Hanzo closes his eyes. “Like I said…it's my fault that Genji was stuck with this responsibility.”

  Jesse looks down, crossing his arms. “Kinda mine too then, huh?” He asks quietly, shifting a bit. “Since I'm the one distractin’ you,” He mumbles, and Hanzo immediately moves to sit by Jesse. 

  “Absolutely not, Jesse. This is nobody's fault but my own for not handling everything better.”He gently takes Jesse's hand. Jesse just gives Hanzo's hand a little squeeze, nodding. 

  “So what's goin’ on then? For real?” He asks, and Hanzo takes a breath.

  “Well, first…” He looks at Genji. “Did you approve any more hit outs on the Southern gang?” He asks quietly, and Genji sits there silently, thinking.

  Then, he shifts a bit, looking nervously. “On the second in command, um, I think he's also his partner? I'm not sure,” He admits quietly. “He apparently caught one of our guys just  _ walking  _ over there, and he just shot him, right there. And, um…the others asked if they could…” His voice trails off and Hanzo slowly puts his face in his hands. He just sits there for a moment, keeping his breathing calm. Jesse and Genji look at him with worried expressions. 

  He looks up. “That's not good. When is it supposed to be-” Hanzo's phone starts ringing, and they all look at the phone on the coffee table, buzzing wildly, waiting to be picked up. Hanzo leans over to look at the caller ID and his heart sinks. “God  _ damnit _ Genji,” He hisses before he picks his phone up. “Hello-”

  “I cannot fucking believe you, Shimada.” South interrupts his greeting, voice a bit more upbeat than Hanzo thinks it should be, a soft chuckle behind his words. “You've got some serious fucking balls, I'll give you that. Not even three hours after I give you your first and only warning, you go ahead and order a hit on my husband. And good news, your hit was successful! He's gone.” South sounds unnervingly calm, and still upbeat, as he speaks, and it sends a chill down Hanzo's spine.

  Hanzo's head spins to look at Genji, eyes a bit wide. Jesse follows Hanzo's glare. Uh oh, this didn't sound good. “ _ Tonight _ ?” Hanzo whispers, angry. ” _ Tonight  _ is when you approved it for?!” Genji gives a big shrug.

  “I thought South would be distracted by the party, I-”

  South laughs. “Are you talking to Genji? Ah, tell him I said hi! Oh, and- and tell him he got your man killed. I'm sure I'll be talking to you  _ very  _ soon, Hanzo.” And he hangs up, leaving Hanzo shaking.

  Jesse reaches out to take his hand, but Hanzo flinches away. “Hanzo, what the hell happened-? ”

 Hanzo sets his phone down, ignoring Jesse for the moment. “Genji, I-” He closes his eyes. “I don't even know what to say to you. This is probably the most idiotic thing you've ever done. His  _ husband _ ?”

  Genji sits up. “Look, Hanzo, I told you, I can't-” 

  Hanzo stands up, furious--not really at Genji, but moreso at himself for putting Genji in a situation to make such a bad decision. “They're coming after Jesse because of this, Genji!” He shouts, gesturing to Jesse, whose eyes widen. He's shocked into silence. Hanzo just continues. “I know I wasn't there. I know I fucked up. But couldn't you have come to me for this? Couldn't you have just a  _ little  _ common fucking sense?!” He's fuming, and Genji just sits there for a moment before he silently stands up. 

  He pushes past Hanzo as he starts walking away towards Hanzo's spare bedroom, and Jesse watches him go before he looks at Hanzo. “What. The. Fuck,” Jesse whispers, running a hand through his hair. “Hanzo, what the fuck?” Hanzo turns to look at his boyfriend, and seeing the look on Jesse's face, one of concern and fear, it breaks his heart. 

  He can't believe he got Jesse mixed up into all of this. He hates himself for it, he really does. “I- I'm so sorry, Jesse,” He whispers, sitting back down beside him. “I'm going to do whatever I can to protect-” 

  “Now, I'm gonna stop you right there, Hanzo,” Jesse interrupts, shaking his head, his attitude shifting rather quickly. “Listen here.” Hanzo shuts up, looking at him. “I don't need you to protect me. I'm- I'm not a fragile thing who can't keep myself alive in a situation where it's all on the line. I was in the military. I was a POW. The  _ last _ thing I need is someone treatin’ me like I'm not capable of protectin’ myself, and I  _ especially  _ don't need my boyfriend doin’ it.”

  Hanzo stares at him, surprised he took that tone with him. “Jesse, I didn't mean it like-” Jesse holds up a hand. 

  “It's fine. I know.” He stands up. “I need to get somethin’ from my place.” Hanzo is about to protest, but Jesse shakes his head, going over to the counter and picking up Hanzo's car keys. “I'll be fine. Why don't you go apologize to Genji, what you said was, uh, kinda dick-ish.” He presses a quick kiss to Hanzo's lips before he walks out, leaving Hanzo alone in the room.

  Hanzo looks around for a moment before he gets up and walks over to Genji's door, knocking gently. When he doesn't answer, Hanzo presses his ear to the door, and finds that he's talking on the phone. Hanzo doesn't have to guess that he's talking to Hana; Genji went to her for everything. He probably wasn't happy he had to leave before he could talk to her at the party too. Shit. Hanzo sighs and knocks again. “Genji, open the door.” 

  “No, fuck off.” 

  “Stop acting like a child and open the fucking door,” Hanzo grits out, trying not to get upset again. “We need to talk about this.” 

  It's quiet for a moment before Genji opens the door, then crosses his arms. “Are you going to yell at me anymore? Because I'm really not in the mood for it.”

  Hanzo shakes his head. “No. No, I want to apologize for that. I was- I  _ am _ -a lot more stressed out about this situation now that Jesse could very possibly be killed for this,” He explains. 

  Genji sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Why aren't you there? Why can't you be there when I need it? You've been so caught up in Jesse that I just- I don't know what to do! I've basically taken over this whole thing, when I didn't even want to be involved in this in the first place. And you knew that. This isn't fair, Hanzo, and I'm really pissed off that you got mad at me for this. I didn't know, I thought the guys knew what they were doing. I don't know any of this like you do. You left me on my own to figure this out, and-” He tears up, trying not to immediately start crying. He's been under so much pressure lately, and now it was just…coming down on him hard. “Now I got Jesse killed, and I didn't even- I didn't mean to-” 

  Hanzo is surprised to see his brother so emotional. He's never seen Genji like this before. Wordlessly, he pulls his brother into his arms, hugging him tight. Genji immediately hugs him back, burying his face in Hanzo's neck. Hanzo closes his eyes, taking a shaky breath. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left all of this to you. You're right about everything, I should've been there,” He whispers. “This isn't your fault. I said that before.” He gently rubs Genji's back. “I'm sorry I made it seem like it was. I won't leave you alone in this again. I'm going to fix this. You're my brother, and I love you, Genji.” His voice has dropped to a whisper, and Genji has gone still. 

  Did he hear that right? He leans back, looking at Hanzo. Instead of questioning him, he nods a little, then wipes his eyes. “I trust you.” He steps away, clearing his throat a little. Feeling a little embarrassed, he changes the subject before Hanzo can say anything else about this. “...where's Jesse?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo sighs.

  ”He went back to his place to get something. He'll be fine.” He says that more to remind himself, but Genji nods anyways. 

  “We should…start thinking about leaving, South is-”

  “I know how powerful South is.” An even match for the Shimadas, is what he was. The rivalry between the two gangs has been going on since the Shimadas first arrived three generations ago. They’ve always had it out for each other. “I don't know, Genji. Let's just talk about it when Jesse gets back.”

 

* * *

 

 

  “Gentlemen, there's a very special lady in my life that I'd love to introduce you to,” Jesse says with a big smile as he walks back inside, where Hanzo and Genji are sitting in the living room. He'd gone to his place and back with no issue; Jesse thinks that maybe Hanzo has been overreacting. 

  Hanzo eyes him warily, and Genji just eyes the case Jesse is trying to hide behind his back. “Who is it?” Genji asks before Hanzo can speak. 

  Jesse grins. “Glad you asked.” He sits on the coffee table in front of them, then rests the case on his lap. He opens it up, and pulls out a sleek yet…”well loved” revolver. “This is Peacekeeper. Got me through missions better than any assault rifle, let me tell you.” He turns the gun over in his hand. “Always had her holstered when I could. I was just glad I got her back after…” He pauses, then shakes his head. “Anyways,” He takes a breath. “I'll carry her with me if it makes you feel better, Hanzo,” He murmurs. “I don't want you to worry about me. Nothin’s gonna happen to me, okay?” He asks quietly, resting his elbows on his thighs as he leans over. 

  Hanzo nods a bit. “Alright.” He sighs. “I trust you. But…I'm still going to worry…about all of us,” He tells him. “I do wish I was overreacting, Jesse, but I'm not.” 

  “He's not,” Genji confirms. “I'll tell you this- South is Hanzo's age, and uh, when they were sixteen, South just- he shot our cousin in cold blood just for looking at him wrong. He is…one scary person, Jesse, that's what Hanzo is trying to say, I think. South has been this way ever since he was young, and it's just gotten worse. I'm surprised he actually loved someone enough to marry them. I understand Hanzo's concern. I…I honestly don't know what I was thinking, approving that hit out…” He sighs. “I'm an ass.”

  Hanzo shakes his head a bit as Jesse just kind of looks between the two of them in shock. “Jesus Christ,” He whispers. The three of them go quiet, but Jesse is the one to break the silence a moment later. “So what are we gonna, Hanzo?” He asks quietly, looking at his boyfriend. 

  Taking a deep breath, Hanzo sits up a bit straighter. “We have a few options,” He begins explaining, looking at the two of them. “One, we just leave the city- maybe even the country -before he can get to us personally. Because he will not hesitate to just-” He shakes his head, cutting himself off. “Two, we set up a meeting and do our best to reach a common ground, but I don't think that's possible without some sort of fight. Which brings me to three.” He folds his hands in his lap. “We get him before he gets us.”

  Genji looks uneasy. “That won't be easy at all, Hanzo,” He murmurs. “I don't know if that's such a good idea. Maybe we should just leave, make it easy-”

  “And leave the rest of the family behind? And keep running forever? Because you know he'll track us down, Genji,” Hanzo tells him, frowning. “I don't like that option very much. I think we should talk this out with him. Because this is just- it's a misunderstanding.” 

  “Hanzo, one of your guys killed his husband. That's not a misunderstanding. That can't be fixed with some chitchat,” Jesse tells him, and Hanzo is about to protest before he holds up a hand. “What would you do if you found out they put a hit out on me, and I got killed?” He asks, and Hanzo doesn't even have to think about an answer. 

  “Well I'd-” He stops after realizing what Jesse was going after, and Jesse nods.

  “You wouldn't wanna talk, would you?” He asks quietly, and Hanzo sighs. 

  “You're right,” He says with a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. 

  Genji rubs his arm uneasily, looking down. “But this doesn't help us figure out what we're going to do.”

  Jesse looks at him. “I think we're gonna have to go with option three, bud,” He murmurs, looking at the revolver in his hand. “Hanzo, why don't you try to set up a meet with that guy, huh? I kinda got an idea. It's stupid, somethin’ you only see in those movies, but…maybe it'll work outta sheer dumb luck.” He smiles at Hanzo, who picks up his phone. Jesse was a lot more clever than he gave him credit for, and he had a feeling he could trust him. 

  What other choice did they have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so originally had a plan for this, but..... then I had a brand new idea and it's gonna be really stupid and written really badly I can feel it. so I'm. just gonna apologize ahead of time.
> 
> also, thanks for sticking with this, if you've been here since the beginning. I know this wasn't what you came here for, but like I said, I got rlly invested in the story part rather than the smut part and. I feel bad for that but :/ I still hope y'all like the story.
> 
> I do think the next chapter for sure will be the last, because that's the big climax chapter, and I'm not sure how I'll be able to continue it after. just so y'all are in the know
> 
> anyways thank u so much guys


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

  Hana stares at the three men in front of her, an eyebrow raised. They'd just brought her up to speed on everything that's happened recently, and honestly, while she knows she should've been surprised, she's not. These two got themselves into messes a lot...of course, this had to be, by far, the messiest of them all, but still. “So let me get this straight…” She sits up, looking up at the ceiling in thought. “You want me to help you kill a guy before he can kill Jesse, because you guys killed his husband who killed one of your guys.” It sounded like something out of some ridiculous movie, but she can't say she's surprised.

  Hanzo and Genji nod. “Yes, that's right,” Hanzo confirms, and Hana rubs the bridge of her nose.

  “You two…I told you when I first met you two that I did _not_ want to be involved with this,” She reminds them, looking at them with an exasperated expression on her face. “Why should I help?” Jesse looks a bit offended, pressing a hand to his heart. Wow, he wasn't reason enough?

  “Well, for one, Jesse doesn't die,” Genji explains as if it wasn't obvious, rolling his eyes. “And, if it all goes according to plan, we’ll also be able to take over the Southern side of the city and get rid of them, regain some peace.”

  Hana scoffs. “Look, I understand the first reason- Jesse, sweetie, I'm sorry it seemed like you weren't a big enough reason to help. That's not what I meant-” Jesse nods in a silent acceptance of her apology. “-but I'm not gonna help possibly start a big gang war or whatever that ends up with a lot of bloodshed. I've seen enough war in my time and I _don't_ want to see anymore. I'm tired of it.” She crosses her arms and shakes her head. “I don't think I can do it. There's a lot I'd do for you two, but this…I don't know…”

  Jesse decides to step in, giving her a sympathetic look. “Darlin’, I understand where you're comin’ from completely. When you come home from war, you don't wanna see any more of it. You don't wanna think about killin’ anyone ever again.” She nods a little in response, looking at him. He smiles slightly. “I understand, and I know how that feels.” He leans forward a bit so he's closer to her, gently taking her hands in his. “But sweetheart, my life's on the line here. And so is theirs. Now you might not care very much about me, but I sure as hell know you care about them.” He nods his head at the brothers, who are quiet, letting Jesse talk to her.

  She doesn't respond, just kind of looking at him, her gaze going a bit soft.

  “I don't think they'd be askin’ you for help if they didn't need it,” Jesse finishes, his voice having gone down to a whisper. "We need you to have our backs, sweetheart." She looks down at her lap, gently taking her hands back from him, wringing them together a little bit in thought.

  She hadn't even picked up a gun since she was discharged. She hadn't even thought of it. She wanted to put all of that aside and forget about it. But…well, Jesse had a point. Her boys needed her right now. She needed to help them however she could, even if she wasn't keen on the idea of possibly stirring up even more trouble. “Alright. Alright, I'll help you,” She murmurs. “If you weren't my best friends, I wouldn't be doing this,” She tells them, narrowing her eyes at them. “I can't believe you got yourselves in this mess. Assholes.” She flops back against the couch, crossing her arms.

  Hanzo sighs. “Trust me, Hana, I know. This was all an accident, and we aren't sure what else to do. Jesse's idea just…” He shakes his head, looking very worried about it all. “It's worth a shot. It might be stupid enough to work.”

  Jesse scowls. “It ain't _that_ stupid, Hanzo,” He mutters, elbowing him. Hanzo inhales sharply when Jesse's elbow connects with his side, but he ignores him for the most part.

  “Pretending you're just going to give yourself up, and possibly getting yourself killed, is pretty stupid, Jesse, and you better hope this works," Hanzo warns him quietly, and Jesse waves his hand dismissively. 

 “Whatever, whatever. I'm gonna talk to Angela now, alright?” He tells him as he gets up. Hanzo nods.

  “Please be careful on your way there. I don't want her in any danger either.” Hanzo instructs him, and Jesse nods, grabbing his keys and heading out.

  He hated the fact he needed to tell her about all of this. He hated that he had to do this. But, at the very least, Jesse thinks, she deserves to know what's going on. If anything happens to him, she at least will know instead of being clueless as to how he died. He's nervous as he knocks on her door after carefully making his way to her apartment. It's a moment or two later when she opens the door, a bit surprised to see him. “Jesse, what are you doing here?” She asks, and Jesse offers her a smile.

  “...can I come in? We, uh…need to talk,” He tells her. She almost immediately looks concerned as she opens the door a bit wider, allowing him inside, closing the door after he walks in. The look on his face scared her; He looked as if he had some terrible news. Oh God, maybe he and Hanzo broke up?

  “Is everything okay?” She asks as they both sit down in her living room. Jesse takes a moment before he shakes his head, sighing.

  “No, Angela, it isn't. It's… actually really _not_ okay,” He murmurs with a little chuckle. “It's real bad.”

  She swallows nervously, playing with her hands a bit. “What happened?” She asks quietly, and Jesse sighs, looking at her.

  “Look, I'm just gonna be honest with you here, I'm-” This was a lot harder than he thought it would be. “Hanzo got into…a bit of a mess. Now, I want you to just listen to me right now. Don't say anything,” He requests, and she stares at him, now looking twice as nervous. Still, she nods. Jesse continues. “Hanzo runs a gang, Angie. A really powerful one. But Genji got him into a mess when he decided to approve a kill on a rival leader’s husband. And because of that…they're comin’ after me now.” Better to straightforward and blunt right now. No beating around the bush, that might make everything worse here. 

  Angela's jaw drops in shock, her eyes going wide. She can't speak for a moment, unable to find words for what she's feeling. Jesse gives her a second, biting his lip. Finally, she closes her eyes. “...that's kind of a lot to take in, Jesse,” She says quietly, opening her eyes to look at him. Tears are starting to well up in her eyes as she realizes the severity of the situation, and it makes Jesse's heart ache.

  “I know, I know it is,” He says with a nod, scooting closer. God, he didn't want her to cry.

  “So what does this mean?” She asks, holding up her hands a bit. “What’s going to happen?” She looks at him, visibly concerned, the tears starting to slip down her cheeks. Jesse sighs and cups her face, gently wiping away the tears in her eyes.

  “I don't know yet. I got a plan for how to deal with this, but…there's a pretty good chance that…” He can't say it, a lump forming in his throat, seeing that look in her eyes. Her lower lip starts wobbling a bit as she tries not to burst into tears, already knowing what he's going to say. ”...I could die, Angela,” He finally manages to say, choked up. She lets out a little sob as she wraps her arms around him and hugs him close. That was what she was afraid of. That was honestly her worst fear- Jesse dying. At all. She'd been worried sick while he was deployed, but she didn't expect to have to worry again once he got home. He hugs her back, closing his eyes, just kind of breathing her in. If he never got to hug her again, he wanted to savor this, to remember it for as long as he had left.

  “If you can survive all you went through while you were deployed, you can survive this too,” She whispers, sniffling. “This _can't_ be how it ends, Jesse.” She squeezes him, and he just rubs her back.

  “I don't know how it's gonna go. I really don't. But…I needed to come and let you know. The last thing I want is for you to be wondering what happened to me and why.” He gently holds her at arm's length. “But I'm gonna do whatever I can to make it out of this alive. Understand?” She musters a small nod, and he gives her a little smile. “Good,” He whispers, stroking her cheeks softly. “I love you, darlin’, don't forget that, no matter what.” He kisses her forehead.

  She manages a little smile. “Love you too,” She murmurs, sniffling and wiping her eyes. She looks at him. “Don't be an idiot. Don't try to be brave and make the situation worse. Don't...don't mess up like Gabriel did." Don't jump the gun, don't be impatient. It went unsaid, but he knew what she meant. 

  "I won't, Angela," He assures her with a little smile, running his fingers through her hair. "I promise I'm not." That memory still shook him, but...he wouldn't make that same mistake. He wouldn't try to be a hero when he was the one who needed saving. 

   Angela watches as he stands up, biting her lip. "Promise me you'll be safe," She whispers, standing up and giving him one last hug. He hugs her back. He knows he can't make that promise. He even said before he'll try his best. But if it makes her feel better, he'll promise it. 

   "I promise."

 

* * *

 

  It was dark out, save for a dim streetlamp here and there and the huge light in the middle of the abandoned lot the meeting was arranged in out in the far outskirts of the city. The light being trained on that one spot left everything around it pitch black, and Jesse couldn't make anything out in it, even if he tried. Even the moon was hidden behind the dark clouds above them. Tonight…was a do or die kind of night. So much could go wrong, and everyone was on edge, the air around them tense and heavy. It was like the world knew what was going on here tonight.

  Genji is gripping Jesse by his jacket, shoving him towards the circle of light where they'd be meeting South. Jesse stumbles a bit, scowling. “Hey, take it easy,” He grumbles, catching his footing. Genji just shushes him. Jesse's heart was beating hard and fast, but he knew he could do this. He'd done scarier things, this was…no big deal. No big deal. He looks up just in time to see South walk into the circle of light, a grin on his face. It looked rather creepy, just seeing him emerge from the shadows around them. Fitting.

  “Good evening, boys, so glad you could make it!” He watches as they come close. He laughs out loud when he sees Genji, who frowns. “Wow, I should've expected this. Once again, Hanzo had his fucking brother to do the dirty work! What a fucking _coward_ !” He shouts to no one in particular, pacing back and forth a little. "You know what, I'll give you props, Genji.” He grins and waves a finger at Genji. “I don't know many people who would so easily just hand over their family like this. You're a stone cold bitch, I like that about you.” Genji has to remind himself not to let that get to him. He takes a calming breath. South chuckles, looking at Jesse with a look in his eyes Jesse can't place. Whatever it was, it was a terrifying mixture of anguish and loathing. “And you must be _Jesse_ , is that right?” He asks, stopping in front of where Jesse stands.

  Jesse frowns, narrowing his eyes a little. “Don't much matter, does it?” He asks, his voice low. “Since you're just gonna kill me.” South gives him a big shrug.

  “I guess not,” He agrees, gesturing for Genji to bring him closer. “You know, I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised you're doing this. You're making it easy for me. I really didn't want to have multiple bodies on my hands tonight,” He tells Genji as Genji starts walking Jesse over, keeping a firm grip on his jacket. Eyes starting to widen a bit, Jesse lowkey puts up a bit of resistance, as much as he can with his hands bound tightly behind him.

  “Hey- hey, you aren't actually-” He whispers, turning a bit to look at Genji, who won't look at him, his eyes trained on South. “What are you-?”

  “I'm doing this for the good of my family, Jesse,” Genji murmurs, just loud enough for South to hear, giving him a hard push towards South. Jesse stumbles forward, hardly able to catch himself and stop from falling, which makes South chuckle.

  “Genji!” Jesse snaps. “This was _not_ part of the-”

  South lets out a laugh, interrupting Jesse abruptly. “Wait, wait, wait, hold on now.” He steps closer, holding up his hands and looking between the men. “Part of the _what_?” He asks for clarification, an amused smile on his face. Jesse doesn't move once he spots the gun at South’s side. Shit, shit, shit-

  Genji sighs, looking at Jesse with a look of slight disdain. “Jesse had this stupid little plan to try and get rid of you before you could kill him. I had to pretend like I was going along with it.” He reaches over and gets a tight grip on Jesse's hair, making it hard for him to move without hurting himself. He inhales sharply, wincing.

  South smiles at Genji. “Well thanks so much for letting me know. Really Genji, I appreciate it. I love a good old fashioned backstabbing.” He looks down at Jesse. “You're a little snake, I don't much like that.” And with no warning, he drives a knee into Jesse's stomach, making him double over and fall to the ground as Genji releases him, gasping for breath as the air is knocked out of him.

  “You fuckin’ bastard-” He gasps out, doing his best to get to his knees, looking up at Genji. This could _not_ be happening right now. No, no, it couldn't be. “Genji, don't-”

  “Just get it over with, South. He's caused enough trouble for me and my family as it is. It's better you get rid of him than me, Hanzo would hate me,” Genji mutters, sending a glare down at Jesse before he looks at South. “This is what you wanted. But you leave us alone after this. Understand?”

  South hums quietly as he pulls the gun from his belt. “That was the deal, man. Eye for an eye.” He cocks the gun, smirking down at Jesse. Grief had consumed him from the very second he knew his partner had gotten shot. All he could think about from that moment on was _this._ Hanzo's man kneeling before him, ready to die. He wanted nothing more than to take this away from Hanzo and make him hurt exactly like he was hurting right now. This right here was all he could think about. He couldn't focus on anything else. “This is gonna feel real good, I just want you to know th-” He's interrupted when Jesse quietly starts chuckling, sitting back on his heels, looking up at South, who raises an eyebrow. “What are you laughing about?” Jesse doesn't respond, still caught up in giggles. South is more confused than anything right now, caught off guard not only from this, but in general. He was so consumed in his thoughts and his pain that he'd been behaving a bit recklessly lately. He wasn't totally on guard to begin with, and because of that…he's only now starting to think they might be taking advantage of that. “Genji, what the hell is wrong with-” When he looks at Genji, Genji is smirking smugly at him, arms crossed. South frowns, starting to feel kind of worried. They had to be messing with him now. “What…”

  “See you in Hell, my good bitch,” Jesse says cheerfully as he watches Hanzo come up behind him from the very same shadows South emerged from himself. Hanzo presses the barrel of Peacekeeper to the back of South’s head, pulling back the hammer, lowkey smirking to himself. And before South has the chance to properly react, Hanzo pulls that trigger, the shot echoing throughout the huge, empty lot. Jesse and Genji, unfortunately, are covered in blood as South’s body thuds to the floor. Both men do their best to move away from it, shuffling to the side.

  Grimacing a bit, Genji helps Jesse to his feet, getting the binding off his wrists. Hanzo lowers the gun, taking a breath. He smiles slightly at Jesse and Genji. “That was some very convincing acting,” He tells the two of them. Jesse grins.

  “I know, right?” He looks at Genji. “You had him going- Hell, _I_ even believed you for a sec.” He nudges him. Genji just rolls his eyes.

  “I thought I'd end up giving myself up, it was kind of hard pushing you around like that,” He says with a smirk. “I thought he'd figure it out a lot sooner.” He uses his sleeve to try and wipe his face, but it doesn't work that well. He presses a finger to the comm in his ear. “Hana, everything clear up there?”

  “Mhm, all good. He came alone like a fucking idiot, and I didn't see anyone on the perimeter of the lot. You guys are clear,” She tells them from where she sits on a rooftop a distance away, a sniper rifle rested in front of her. “I'll meet you at the car in a sec.”

  Genji nods. “Good. Be careful coming down just in case,” He tells her.

  “Roger. You too.”

  Genji looks at Jesse and Hanzo. “She says we're clear to go. Let's-let's just get home, this is disgusting,” He mutters, starting to walk off the lot towards the car.

  Jesse and Hanzo exchange a relieved look before they start walking, right behind Genji.

 

* * *

 

 

  “He was completely alone,” Hana murmurs as she sits on Genji's lap, gently wiping off his face with a wet washcloth as they all sat in Hanzo's living room. “It was a stupid move, but it looked like he wanted to take care of this, like, really personally. Like he didn't want anyone else interfering.”

  “That doesn't surprise me,” Hanzo says as he sits in front of Jesse, gently pulling Jesse’s hair out of his face, tying it up so he can start cleaning off his face. “I'd want to take care of it personally too.” He sighs quietly, gently scrubbing at Jesse's face. “I was worried, when he hit you,” He murmurs, and Jesse smirks.

  “Ah, I woulda been fine, Hanzo,” He says quietly, gently nudging him. “It _did_ hurt like hell, though.”

  “It looked like it did,” Genji tells him, glancing over at him with a smirk. “Glad it wasn't me.” Hana smiles slightly, wiping off Genji's brow. She pauses after a couple second, turning and looking at the three men.

  “...did we really have to do this?” She asks quietly, looking a bit concerned. “I mean…he must've been grieving. Heartbroken…” She looking back at Genji, continuing to clean him off, biting her lip. She's looking more worried than anything now. Hanzo sighs, resting his hands on Jesse's thighs as he turns his head to look at her.

  “I understand your concern, because it _is_ a terrible thing to go through. The thing is, they've caused a lot of trouble for us where it didn't belong. The Shimadas do their best to keep the peace with our rivals and peers when possible, and they come for us even when we've done nothing.”

  “They're shit starters,” Genji says in addition to Hanzo, looking at Hana. “We've wanted to do something about this for a long time. This happening to Jesse…it was a good opportunity to do so, as awful as that sounds.” He sighs and gently takes Hana’s wrist in his hand, moving her hand away from his face so he can look at her. “Hana...thank you for being there for us tonight. It made us all feel better knowing that you were there to help help if things went wrong. But please don't worry about that other stuff. We knew what we were doing.”

  She sighs and nods a little. “Okay,” She whispers, giving Genji a small smile.

  They finish cleaning the boys up, then head off to bed, Hana and Genji shacking up in Hanzo's spare room. Hanzo tells Jesse to head to bed without him, and that he'll be in soon. Jesse nods and does as he's told. Hanzo steps out onto his balcony, looking out at the night sky. He leans against the banister, bowing his head and closing his eyes. It was all over, thank God, and he had nothing left to worry about besides dismantling the rest of the Southern gang, which wouldn't be too difficult anymore. Even with that load of stress lifted off his shoulders…he couldn't believe how close he came to losing Jesse.

  His heart starts twisting as he thinks of all the things that could've gone wrong tonight, and how he easily could've watched Jesse die. Just the thought of it made Hanzo choke up. He'd been terrified ever since he got that first call, even if he didn't really show it, even if he tried to deny it and keep his cool. Next to Genji, Jesse was the most important person in his life, and coming so close to losing that just- He had no idea how to process it all. Wracked with relief that Jesse was still here, he tears up, so glad it's just over. He sniffles and wipes his eyes, then jumps when he hears the door slide open. He quickly turns around, sighing when he sees it's Jesse. “What are you doing?” He asks, and Jesse shrugs a bit.

  “You've just been standing out here for almost an hour, Hanzo,” He murmurs, and Hanzo looks confused.

  “Really?” Had he been _that_ caught up in his thoughts? Jesse nods a bit, walking over and standing beside him. Hanzo turns back around to rest against the railing with a sigh.

  “Everything okay?” He asks quietly, getting close to him so their shoulders are touching. Hanzo looks at him, then rests his head on Jesse's shoulder.

  He doesn't say anything for a second or two before he takes a breath. “I don't ever want to come this close to losing you again, Jesse,” He whispers. “I've never been more afraid than I've been these past couple days,” He tells him, hooking his arm around Jesse's, pulling him closer. Jesse turns his head to press a kiss to the top of Hanzo's head.

  “I'm fine, darlin’. I knew I would be. You didn't have to be so worried about it all,” He tells him, smiling slightly. Hanzo shakes his head a little, squeezing Jesse a bit.

  “I-I did though, Jesse. He was a dangerous man. And the thought of losing you to him terrified me. The thought of losing you _at all_ -” He closes his eyes, stopping himself. “I never want to feel that again.” Jesse goes quiet for a moment. He moves away from Hanzo so he can pull him into a hug instead, wrapping his arms around him, sighing quietly.

  “You don't have to. I promise I'm always gonna be around, Hanzo. I'd go through hell and back to make sure of it.” He squeezes him a little. “I love you with all my heart, Hanzo.” His voice has dropped to a whisper.

  Hanzo can't bring himself to speak for a moment. “I love you too,” He finally whispers back, looking up at him. He leans up to kiss him, sliding a hand to his cheek. They stand out there together for a little while before Jesse suggests they go inside and get some rest. After the night they had, they could really use it. As they get into bed, Hanzo thanks whatever high power is out there that he could get in bed tonight and have Jesse right beside him.

  It's then he decides that he wants to be beside Jesse every night, for the rest of his life.

 

* * *

***

* * *

 

  Hanzo's hand hits the ceiling of Jesse's truck as he tries to keep his head bowed enough so that he doesn't hit the ceiling as he moves himself on Jesse's cock, eyes shut tight. He was doing his best not to hit the steering wheel, or any other part of the truck in his immediate vicinity, too. But Goddamn, Jesse was making it hard with his occasional thrusts into him. “Shit,” Hanzo gasps, gripping Jesse's shoulders as he thrusts up into him again. “You- you really had to have it now? It- fuck-” He inhales sharply, giving him a quick, hard kiss. “Couldn't have waited until after?” He asks between gasps of breath, his lips mere centimeters away from Jesse's as he speaks.

  Jesse just grins, biting his own lip as he gets a firm hold on Hanzo's waist, squeezing him a little. He's very much enjoying watching Hanzo work himself up on his cock. It was always a sight to behold... “Nah,” He responds. “You really think I coulda held out all night, tonight of all nights?” He whispers, sounding a bit breathless.

  Hanzo can't help but laugh a little as he kisses Jesse again, a hand sliding into his hair, messing it up. Jesse has spent a good hour taming his hair, but Hanzo figured he wouldn't be too pressed, especially since Jesse had ruined his hair too, just moments before. “That's fair,” He whispers back through his laughter, kissing the corner of Jesse's lips before bowing his head, resting his forehead against Jesse's, closing his eyes so he can focus on his movements and bringing them both closer and closer.

  God damn this truck was so cramped. Never would he have sex in here again, no matter how much Jesse begged. Tonight, though, he'd make an exception. They were celebrating, and he couldn't bring himself to say no. They both knew people were waiting for them inside the chateau Amélie offered to let them use, they both knew they were late for their own goddamn party, but that didn't stop them. It was their night anyways, everyone could wait. By the time they both finish, they're both hot and sweaty, their suits wrinkled, their ties nearly completely undone, a few buttons on their brand new dress shirts lying on the seat beside them, having been tugged off in their frantic attempt to get their clothes off. They exchange a look as they catch their breath, unable to stop themselves from laughing when they realize what a mess they are.

  Hanzo kisses that beautiful smile of Jesse's before he moves away to get his pants back on. They both take a good moment to clean themselves up and make themselves presentable again. It takes a few minutes, but they eventually get out of the truck, straightening their blazers. Hanzo looks at Jesse. “Do I look okay?” He asks after he fixes his ponytail, holding his arms out so Jesse can inspect him.

  Jesse nods. “I look good too?” He asks as well, and Hanzo hums in approval.

  “We certainly don't look like we just fucked in a vehicle,” He murmurs with a smirk. Jesse laughs before he wraps an arm around Hanzo's shoulders, kissing the top of his head. They start walking towards the entrance of the chateau, but before they walk in, Hanzo stops Jesse from walking any more. Raising an eyebrow, Jesse looks at him, a bit confused. Hanzo just takes Jesse's left hand, raising it to his lips. He presses a soft kiss to the ring on Jesse's finger, smiling a bit. “Tonight…is the best night of my life, Jesse,” He whispers, gently squeezing his hand.

  A slow smile comes to Jesse's lips before he takes Hanzo's chin in his hand, tilting his head up so he can kiss him. “Best night of mine too, darlin’. Now, why don't we go in there? I bet everyone's wonderin’ where we are,” He says with a smirk. Hanzo smiles.

  “Let them wonder, then,” He murmurs, taking Jesse's arm and pushing the door open. “We can take our time.” And they do, leisurely taking their time as they make their way to the ballroom, where a big reception was set up. They should've been the first ones there, and yet, they were the last. But they couldn't find it in them to care. Once they finally walk into the ballroom, Genji lets out a loud cheer, clapping his hands.

  The rest of their friends and family cheer and clap right along with him, making Hanzo and Jesse laugh as they walk over to greet their friends. There wasn't many, but it was enough for them. Angela gives Jesse a huge hug, and Hana nearly makes Hanzo fall as she jumps into his arms, hugging him tight, both women going on about how happy they are for the two men. They get a lot of congratulations from everyone, and even though it's a bit overwhelming, both of them have never been happier.

  As he watches the reception get into full swing with husband beside him, Hanzo can't help but think about how, what felt like no time at all ago, he'd been kicking Jesse out, scheduling their meetings, not even kissing him goodbye as he left…

  And now here he was, married to that ridiculous man from the bar, the man he never thought he'd fall in love with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND HERE WE ARE AT THE VERY END FOLKS!
> 
> wow!!!!! I can't believe it's done!! I really enjoyed writing this fic and I really hope all of you enjoyed reading it! seeing your comments and feedback really made me happy, so it's you my dear readers who helped push me to the finish line here.
> 
> I feel like this chapter was kind of shorter than I wanted it to be, and the Death Scene™ was shitty, but overall i think I'm pretty satisfied with the way I ended it! I like ending things on a happy note :') anyways, I really do hope you guys enjoyed reading my fic, it means a lot to me that you guys took the time to do so.
> 
> as usual, I hope to see you all next time! lots of love! <3


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